Diary

I have a lot on my mind. Sometimes it causes insomnia. Maybe this will help.

London

London

So, we decided to take a trip across the pond. I stocked up on¬†Snickers and gum, because everyone to a person warned me that the…

New Jersey State Fair

New Jersey State Fair

You evil, evil carnies! What do you have against us common folk? Is it our Banana Republic clothes or our Supercuts haircuts? Do you hate…

Lake George, NY

Lake George, NY

Nothing says “vacation” like a trip to The Adirondacks–home to countless sleepy vacation villages that come alive with family trucksters and zinc-oxidized tourists once the…

HDTV

HDTV

I’ve been hearing about HDTV since college. This was before the days of DVD, so they were telling us that one day we’d have television…

Kennebunkport, Maine

Kennebunkport, Maine

Maine is a weird state. Dangling precariously into Canada and the frosty white caps of the North Atlantic, Maine somehow drags millions of tourists every…

The Ponies

The Ponies

Ah, nothing like a night of watching small men ride around in carts being dragged behind trotting ponies. Add to this the lovely backdrop of…

Slow Jams

I’ve been searching for years, and I’ve finally found my least favorite kind of music (and mind you, there’s death metal and German industrial music…

The Opera

The Opera

Yeah, shut up. So, I went to the opera. That doesn’t make me a Sally. It doesn’t mean I’m going to skip town with my…

Ford Company

Ford Motor Company

I’m at a loss to explain the advertising acumen behind the brilliant new Ford Motors campaign slogan: “If you haven’t looked at Ford lately… look…

David Cameron

Look Kids, Parliament!

Okay, I’m a complete geek, but I was watching C-SPAN a couple weeks ago–well, I was flipping by C-SPAN a couple weeks ago (I’m not…

Tuesdays With Morrie

So I bit the bullet and actually attended a play. Granted, it wasn’t one of those Andrew Lloyd Webber, Broadway pieces of crap with singing…

Snow Car

Snow

I fuckin’ hate snow. This is a recent phenomenon. I used to love snow. Growing up in a warm weather state, snow was never a…

Cat Lady Blogger

The Blogger Bash

Don’t ask me why, but I went incognito to The 14th Annual Big Apple Blogger Bash last night. Well, incognito in the sense that everyone…

Freedom

Freedom

Last week I heard the two most beautiful words that can be uttered in the English language: case dismissed. First, I’d like to thank the…

The Boulevard of Porn & Trinkets

I like to call it The Boulevard of Porn and Trinkets. The urine-soaked man in the wool pants belted with a rope calls it home….

Sloth

The Ugly Bar

Things don’t get much uglier than the experience I had last night. The bar I went to was filled with the scariest bunch of folks…

Fat Joe

City Kids

When I was a kid I ran everywhere. I had boundless energy. I couldn’t stand being inside, and when I was I ran around the…

Suburban Cop

Suburban Cops

So I’m driving through Clifton, New Jersey the other day when I come to a stoplight. I’m behind some punk in a Honda, who I’m…

Snake Oil

Fat Loss Miracle

So I’m reading my Esquire, and just after finishing an article about the hoo-haw man himself, Al Pacino, I run across an ad in the…

Esquire

The Free Gift

I understand that there’s this new influx of men’s magazines out there. I used to subscribe to FHM, but let it lapse after I realized…

Sunflower Seeds

Sunflower Seeds

I’m almost positive I’m going to create some sort of horrible abscess in my cheek that will eventually grow into a gaping hole through which…

NY State Department of Labor

Unemployment

So I finally pulled the plug on any expectation that I’ll find a job in the near future. I bit the bullet and signed up…

I Drink Beer

I Drink Beer

I apparently drink lots of beer. And I love to catalog stuff. In fact, this entire Website is just one giant catalog. So here are…

Goodbye View

Goodbye View

I certainly will miss the view from my nice, window office. I know it’s not hip to have an office, let alone a view, but…