Movies

Enjoy the rantings as Mr. Hipster proves he slept through his film criticism courses in college.

The Bank Job

The Bank Job

Rating:  The heist movie is as old as moviemaking itself. The genre has been tried in every variation, but usually it involves a reluctant leader…

Balls of Fury

Balls of Fury

Rating:  TI think this was supposed to be a comedy. I say “I think” and “supposed to be” because after watching it I drank a…

The Bad News Bears

The Bad News Bears

Rating:  This is the movie that made it okay for me to go see the opera Carmen. In fact, this movie had me humming “Toreador”…

Baby Mama

Baby Mama

Rating:  I think this was supposed to be a comedy. After all, they told the “jokes” and seemed to pause for the laughter. They glared…

Avatar

Avatar

Rating:  I wanted so badly to dislike this movie. From the moment I saw the cheeseball previews with their steroided Smurfs spewing sappy dialogue I…

Atonement

Atonement

Rating:  I read this book a bunch of years ago, and seem to recall a real Wuthering Heights thing going on. Of course I’m like…

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

Rating:  Take Taxi Driver and add a heap of depression and you get The Assassination of Richard Nixon. Travis Bickle was crazy. Samuel J. Bicke,…

Arlington Road

Arlington Road

Rating:  Arlington Road is a nice little suburban paranoia meets domestic terrorism film that keeps you guessing to the very end. The problem is there…

Anchorman

Anchorman

Rating:  Apparently I’m like an asshole or something. I just don’t like these movies–despite everyone on Earth telling me I should. I didn’t like Old…

American Psycho

American Psycho

Rating:  Nothing used to make me laugh more in college than drunken group-readings of Brett Easton Ellis’ American Psycho. The man writes like a retarded…

American History X

American History X

Rating:  What do you get when you mix an angry skinhead with cliched dialogue and a ridiculous plot that has no place in a 90’s…

American Beauty

American Beauty

Rating:  It’s still amazing to me that Kevin Spacey directed Albino Alligator, one of the worst movies ever made. Otherwise, this guy has been making…

The American

The American

Rating:  There is only so much “Euro” Americans will put up with in their motion pictures. And this thing has it in spades. Not only…

Amelie

Amelie

Rating:  I always hate to praise the French (sorry, the Freedom), but in this case, there’s really no way to avoid it. American movies seem…

Along Came Polly

Along Came Polly

Rating:  This movie was a waste of time for everyone involved. It was like an ode to mediocrity and conventionalism. If there was a screenwriting…

Almost Famous

Almost Famous

Rating:  Every guy (and most women) dreams at some point of standing on stage rockin’ out to thousands of adoring fans. Those of us with…

A.I.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Rating:  I hate movies like this. No, not sci-fi. Not Spielberg movies. I’m talking about movies where I walk out not knowing what I thought…

Affliction

Affliction

Rating:  Sometimes films just try too hard. Thus is the case with Affliction, a movie that beats us over the head with a message I’m…

Adjustment Bureau

The Adjustment Bureau

Rating:  It is super-easy to fuck up when translating a Philip K. Dick book into a movie. I mean a lot of his stuff is…

Adaptation

Adaptation

Rating:  My God, where do I start? This flick makes Being John Malkovich seem like a leisurely jaunt in the country. Is this the story…

About a Boy

About a Boy

Rating:  I always find book adaptations fascinating. There are some books out there that feel as if the authors actually wrote with actors in mind,…

A Beautiful Mind

A Beautiful Mind

Rating:  Nothing says “reality” like bending and twisting a “true story” to your will–bending it so it will fit into your narrow little, Hollywood world….

300

300

Rating:  Joey, do you like gladiator movies? Do you dig loincloths and digitally enhanced abs? How about homoerotic huddles and androgynous kings? Well, Joey, this…

28 Days Later

28 Days Later

Rating:  I have a so-so relationship with zombie movies. I like Shaun of the Dead, but am confounded when people like things like the Dawn…