Don’t let it be said I’m not a total and complete sucker for marketing. Especially marketing that has to do with my manliness. I drink Coke Zero because it doesn’t have the word “Diet” in it and comes in a black can. Because black is manly. I shop in the men’s department at Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s because it has the word “men’s” in it and they fuckin’ carry man shit there. No dresses for this guy!
But the thing that really makes me all masculine-ish inside is all this wonderful shower, post-shower and grooming stuff that is all in one way or another branded as “men’s.” Now, I know and you know that the Lubriderm in the men’s gray bottle is exactly the same shit as the Lubriderm in the white bottle (which is presumably for women or chronic masturbators). Yet I fall for it willingly and gladly. Shit, my shaving gel has the word “King” in it fer Christ’s sake, cuz I like to feel like royalty when I’m drawing a blade over my very, very sensitive skin. Here’s my daily spate of men’s product.
Dove Men +Care Body & Face Wash
American Crew [Official Supplier to Men] Refreshing Citrus Mint
American Crew Tea Tree Calming Conditioner
King of Shaves Alphagel Unmentholated Shaving Gel
American Crew Pomade
Lubriderm Men’s 3-in-1 Lotion, Body, Face and Postshave Lotion
Dove Men +Care Antipersperant