Ruben StuddardWho doesn’t love the Velvet Teddy Bear? Seriously. This guy is like the most adored, lovable reality series winner of all time. Taking home the American Idol trophy in the show’s second season, he built his sound on a bed of Luther Vandross and Teddy Pendergrass and some other larger than life R&B fellas of similar ilk.

Now, I have decried my disdain for slow jams. In fact, I called it my least favorite genre of popular music. So that’s why I have chosen to defend this particular tune from this particular artist. Because, despite being almost sixteen years old at this point, it is straight fire. Like a smoldering teddy bear fire. A Ruben Studdard banger.

Why, of all this meh genre, do I like this one in particular? Why has Ms. Hipster on more than one occasion walked into a room to me crooning to the dulcet tones of “Sorry 2004”? Honestly, I have no idea. It just hits my ear in a really pleasing way. Its repetitive chorus is just the oozing, cloying niceness that I don’t get from any of my other music. Even though he’s apparently apologizing to some unknown female for all his fuck-ups from the year prior. Or maybe pre-apologizing for all his fuck-ups to come in 2004. Who knows.

Anyhow, this was his first original single from his debut album, Soulful. And it is the last time I think I’ve ever heard a Ruben Studdard track. Which is fine, because this shit is silky. It’s also an awesome weapon with which to annoy one’s spouse. And, if you can find it, it’ll shock your karaoke compatriots with your sophisticated, and oddball, choice. I feel like Ruben is a guy who could use this boost a decade and a half into his career. And I’m the one to start the retro revolution by brining this song back to prominence.

For your reading pleasure, here are the masterful lyrics to this all-time classic slow jam (video below):

It’s like I missed a shot,
It’s like I dropped the ball.
(damn I’m sorry)
It’s like I’m on stage,
And I forgot the words.
(damn, I’m sorry)
It’s like building a new house,
With no roof and no doors.
(damn, I’m sorry)
It’s like trying to propose,
And I ain’t got the ring.
(oooh damn I’m sorry)

But girl I’ve apologized
A million times before.
(I’ll apologize a million more)
So here it comes again
For all the wrong I’ve done.
(so get ready babe)
Here’s one million one.

Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I ain’t gonna mess up no more, this year.
I’m ‘a take this one chance,
And make it real clear.
I’m sorry for may
And I’m sorry for June (for real)
And I’m sorry for July (i am)
In case I don’t tell you.
August, September, October, November ’till your December.
I’m sorry.
(I’m sorry 2004)

Its like stayin’ out at night,
Had way too much to drink.
(damn, I’m sorry)
It’s like you change your hair,
And I don’t say a thing.
(damn I’m sorry)
It’s like we’re fallin’ fast asleep,
With no kiss, and before we hit.
(yeah I’m sorry)
And it’s like I forgot your gift,
On 02 14 03.
(yea. so sorry!)

But girl I’ve apologized
A million times before.
(i’ll apologize a million more)
So here it comes again
For all the wrong I’ve done.
(so get ready babe)
Here’s one million one.

Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I ain’t gonna mess up no more, this year.
I’m ‘a take this one chance,
(I’m ‘a take my time)
And make it real clear.
I’m sorry for may
And I’m sorry for June (for real)
And I’m sorry for July (i am)
In case I don’t tell you.
August, September, October, November ’till your December.
I’m sorry.
(I’m sorry 2004)

I’m sorry for the way that I did you
I’m sorry for the thought and how I hurt you girl
I’m sorry on the first day, sorry on the second day
Sorry for the things I did, sorry for the things I said
Sorry for the lies
Sorry for the time
That I didn’t get you what you want,
That I didn’t get you what you like.
What can I do to tell you that I’m sorry babe.
(sorry, sorry)

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhh! [echo]
Wooooooooh!
All them strip clubs,
All them hot tubs.
I’m gone give them up,
‘Cause I don’t want to lose you now.

Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
And I ain’t gonna mess up no more, this year.
I’m ‘a take this one chance,
And make it real clear.
I’m sorry for may
And I’m sorry for June (for real)
And I’m sorry for July (i am)
In case I don’t tell you.
August, September, October, November ’till your December.
I’m sorry.
(I’m sorry 2004)

Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
Sorry 2004
Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.
Sorry 2004