I feel like we were badgered into a meal here. Told by Ms. Hipster that Caldwell Seafood is supposed to have the “freshest” fish in the area. An area, mind you, quite a ways from the ocean. Not like Kansas far, but also not exactly a town known for its salty sea air and crashing waves. Granted, their site says they pick up fresh seafood from Hunts Point every morning at 3 a.m., which is apparently a neighborhood in the South Bronx. Of course, they also call the dining experience “elegant,” so who knows what’s what. Not that I don’t believe the fish is fresh and collected from the boogie down Bronx in the middle of the night, but I figure everything is hyperbole until proven otherwise.
First, this place is both a small fish market and a small restaurant. Really, it’s all one open space that is basically one-third fluorescent-lit fish counter and two-thirds dining room. Again, they refer to it as “cozy,” but there is a reason there are no photos of the restaurant on their website, or even on Yelp. It’s not a bad space or anything, but it is a little jarring given the gourmet food images on their site and the relatively exorbitant prices for a barely-there restaurant on the main drag in a town more than an hour from the closest body of salt water. No matter how fresh Ms. Hipster claims the fish to be. As I’ve hopefully made clear, the restaurant is small. Despite that, they had a same-day reservation available on a Friday evening. I assume it’s not much of a destination eatery and mostly serves locals and regulars. Or at least folks in the ‘hood who are coming to celebrate a birthday for mom or grandma. The singular waiter — whom I also assume serves double-duty as fish dude at the front counter and possibly cook — was very warm and inviting and clearly knew the menu and some regulars who popped in after us. We knew we were in good hands.
So, after settling in and popping the cork on our bottle of whatever white we brought, we went for the trusty fried calamari. Because it is the one cephalopod we can all agree is too stupid not to eat. Everything was as it should be. The squid was not chewy, the fry was decent. The batter was on the less-seasoned side, which I suppose satisfies the wider audience. But it was a decent opener. Now, Hipster Jr. is a self-described lover of fish. I’d say 80% of the reason we were even here (besides not wanting to disappoint Ms. Hipster by not going for her suggestion for the 47th time) was because we wanted to get him what my grandma would call “a nice piece of fish.” You know, because this joint is supposed to have the freshest fish in the whole of the land! But, no, he copies his younger sister and orders fish and chips. Fish and chips! Something you could order at any reputable Irish pub and probably get a top-ten experience. Especially egregious at $34, which is definitely the most I’ve ever spent on a piece of fried fish and french fries. Granted, it was a pretty large portion, but the fry on it looked a bit dense and overly dark. Not what you’d usually expect from a lighter, beer-battered version, which this may well not have been. I think they were both generally okay with their meal, but neither was truly effervescent about it. I’d say this probably wasn’t the best choice on the menu, despite the restaurant calling it their “famous” fish and chips. Famous with whom, we do not know. But there is better at a better price point elsewhere me thinks.
Ms. Hipster got something called flounder Francese for $35. It’s a white fish in a wine and butter sauce. Finally, a person with some sense! By all accounts the fish was indeed decently cooked and was as fresh as we can tell a fish might be. The sauce, however, was overly thick and a bit too much and too heavy for the light fish. I’m sure that was intentional, but I think she was expecting more of a lighter lemony piccata and less of a whatever a Francese is. I went with the $34 shrimp fra diavolo. And, honestly, I think I won the day. The pasta was nice and al dente, the shrimp robust and meaty with whatever you call that great toothiness that properly cooked shrimp takes on. The sauce was appropriately spicy and fulfilling. All in all, a very satisfying bowl of seafood pasta. Now, should I have done their “build your own fish” option? One where you pick your fish (salmon, snapper, swordfish, halibut, cod, grouper, flounder or bronzino) and pick your preparation (siciliano, grilled, oreganato, cajun style, almond crusted, broiled or livorness) for between $36 and $42 and essentially just go with an adorned filet? I mean, that would be cool. But I’m glad I got what I got. Maybe next time we force Hipster Jr. to be more adventurous by being less adventurous and actually get the fresh fish at the fresh fish joint. Meanwhile, we’ll stick to the pub fish and chips and maybe make another trip back if we’re too lazy to take a trip to the shore.
390 Bloomfield Ave. – Caldwell
973/226-2031
caldwellseafood.com
