I’m at my early Indian food phase with Korean grub. Which I know sounds like absolute pretzel logic, but hear me out. Early on in my Indian culinary adventures I only ever ordered chicken tikka masala. And now, as I move into my Korean phase, I see a bibimbap on the menu and I just go for it. Which I suppose, as a relative Korean food newbie, makes me cautious and unadventurous, but it’s also helpful in writing a dumb website about booze and grub. Because I have an apples to apples comparison at all the Korean joints I hit up.
Now, our quest for a regular Korean haunt has definitely been pushed by our resident Koreaphile, Hipster Jr. Jr. She was hoping for a bibimbap go-to in Koreander, but I’m not sure it made the impression she’d hoped. First, the atmosphere. I’d call it… functional. Probably ten tables, generic tile floor, random TV on the wall with lots of ephemera and an open ordering booth in the small dining room with bottles of cleaner and rags sitting out on the counters. It’s a working restaurant, I get it. And I know that in some peoples’ minds this casual, homey approach is somehow fine and okay. And possibly preferred to an uncluttered or even stylized or trendy affair. But to me it psychologically taints my experience. Messiness that you can see equals messiness you can’t see. Inattention and seeming lack of pride and care in your space equals lack of pride and care in your product. In this case, food. And I totally get that there may be absolutely no correlation between what I’m looking at in a space and what I’m eating, but my brain can’t tune it out. It’s just uncomfortable to me.
Moving on from my initial impression of the dining area, I focused on the menu. Which is basically split into three main categories: soups, grilled main hot dishes and rice bowls. We were there for lunch and the main dishes will run you around $30, so I figure those might be a little heavy for midday. Based solely on the price alone. But, who am I fooling, I was always going to get the bibimbap. Which, at $17, isn’t bad. Where it falls down a little bit is on execution and flavor. It’s not bad, mind you, just a little lackluster. Which, again, goes to the circular feelings I have about empirical observations and outcome. The food tasted like the restaurant looked. Rote and generally rudimentarily utilitarian. You need a place to eat? Here, we will provide you a room in which to eat, a table at which to sit and some silverware/chopsticks with which to carry that food to your mouth. And that grub we serve you will be caloric and warm and basically be sustenance that reaches x level of culinary satisfaction. Will we put any kind of flair into it? Any kind of character? We will not. This is meant to keep you alive and fed in exchange for money. You will stand up from your meal, exit the restaurant and perhaps you will come back some day to once more get your daily nutrition. But we have no interest — nay any need — to make any kind of particular impression on your palate. On your memory.
And, look, sometimes that’s fine. My food was just… fine. There wasn’t a ton of bulgogi, but when mixed with the rice and everything else it was somewhat satisfying, but everything — including the little side dishes that always accompany bibimbap — was unremarkable. The egg on top didn’t have that nice yolk that enriches the whole bowl when stirred in. The veggies, meat and rice didn’t give me that lovely hot/cold thing and textural variance that I’ve come to expect from this dish. And the three side dishes amounted to a small meh kimchi, a small bowl of radishes and a bowl of a couple julienned carrots pieces with something that might have been raw potato between the three of us. And maybe I’ve just lucked out in my most of my other experiences (with a couple exceptions), and this just-fine version is more typical, but why not look for the best version of what I want? There are entire websites dedicated to people looking for the best pizza, always searching for a better version of their best version, so I feel totally okay with playing the field trying to find the king of the bap. Sadly, Koreander isn’t taking the crown.
128 Watchung Ave. – Montclair
973/509-7800
koreanderbbq.com
