It’s not an understatement that I watch a lot of television. But there are some shows and some seasons of TV that I just can’t see through. Maybe it’s timing. Maybe it’s the series itself. Whatever the case, I find that a lot of the titles below happened at the height of COVID where there was a lot of pulling and praying and even more time spent working from home. There also seems to be an outsized number of Apple TV+ shows on the trash heap. Whatever that says about their programming. I will continue to add to the list when/if there are future shows I bail on. Hopefully you can find something below to not waste your time on.
Amazing Stories
Service: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2020
Watch: Apple TV+
Capsule Review: I was actually excited for this series — considering my nostalgic love of the original 1985, Spielberg version. But it turned out to be a a pale, cheesy version that missed all the wonder and some of the dread of the first one. It just missed on all fronts and I couldn’t do it anymore. Despite the fact Apple TV+ ordered ten items and only produced six because apparently even the creators of the show thought it wasn’t worth their time to see it to its conclusion.
Big Sky: Season 1
Network: ABC
Release Year: 2021
Watch: Hulu
Capsule Review: What in god’s name is going on with this stupid-ass show? We were promised Ryan Phillippe, but he gets murdered in like the first five minutes. Which leaves us with the two very attractive, but incredibly horrible, actresses. There is some sex trafficking, some terrible writing and a whole lot of confusion about how this got made to begin with. And then somehow got two more seasons. I just couldn’t do it after the seventeenth wtf moment where some character did something completely outside of anything this person should be doing. Also, don’t put Ryan on the poster if Ryan ain’t really in the show. It’s garbage.
Calls
Service: Canal+ / Apple TV+
Release Year: 2021
Watch: Apple TV+
Capsule Review: I think I have podcast brain. And because of this I thought I could watch a whole television series that is basically a podcast. Turns out I need visuals with my TV and following a complicated mystery thriller that is basically just voices and some stoney visualizations is just too difficult for me. This could have been the coolest thing ever, but I’ll never know because it was just too much work. I’m lazy.
Cunk on Earth
Network: Netflix
Release Year: 2022
Watch: Netflix
Capsule Review: It’s a mockumentary and it’s very British. So British I don’t get it. Like the humor is so dry and so incredibly awkward that it makes me feel… nothing. Like a joke machine gun firing watermelon seeds. Kinda slippery and not particularly effective. I’m certain some would label this clever or subversive or something, but to me it’s like a giggle every ten minutes and a whole lot of cringe in between. But not like Ricky Gervais cringe, it’s something completely different. It’s just direct-to-camera monologuing that has a very low hit rate and wasn’t something I was interested in continuing to suffer through.
Debris
Network: NBC
Release Year: 2021
Watch: N/A
Capsule Review: We get it, you saw The X-Files. But you forgot to hire actors who can pull off the roles. Now, David Duchovny is hardly an Oscar caliber thespian, but his charisma is off the charts compared to the weird energy being put out by the barely there lead in this series, Jonathan Tucker. Anyway, the show revolves around this team running around gathering chunks of an alien spaceship, each chunk apparently just kind of doing different shit that is poorly explained. It’s dull and, ultimately just didn’t click on any of the cylinders it should have.
The Defiant Ones
Network: HBO
Release Year: 2017
Watch: N/A
Capsule Review: I worked at Interscope in 1997 – 98. I don’t think I ever saw Jimmy Iovine. Or maybe I did. Honestly, him being a mentor for a couple seasons on American Idol back when I actually watched that thing may have implanted a false memory in my dumb head. This is a four-part doc about his friendship with Dr. Dre and somehow I thought that would interest me. Turns out, they mostly sold a headphones company to Apple and made tons of dough and then just cruised. At least that’s what I took from the episode and a half I made it through. I think maybe two rich guys talking about how they got rich taking advantage of other people who aren’t rich — except maybe Eminem — isn’t my jam.
Feud: Capote vs. The Swan
Network: FX
Release Year: 2024
Watch: Hulu
Capsule Review: Truman Capote is a truly annoying human being. I read In Cold Blood and watched Capote, and neither of them helped shed that impression. Now, after watching this show, I can’t decide if Tom Hollander — who plays Capote — is also a truly annoying human being. Or if he’s just such a good actor that he has just inhabited annoying Capote so completely that he’s become annoying incarnate. Whatever the case, when his irritating portrayal was paired with the campy Ryan Murphy nonsense of the other women characters, this thing became unbearable. Shame, as the cast is actually decent, but neither Ms. Hipster nor I could gut out the cheese.
Flaked: Season 2
Service: Netflix
Release Year: 2017
Watch: Netflix
Previous Full Review: Flaked: Season 1
Capsule Review: I’m honestly not sure why I tried to get through this in the first place. The first season was a lot of walking through Venice Beach and going to AA meetings. Which seemed to pretty much be the plan for season two as well. Just an ambling mess of a show, I made it through two episodes, started a third and decided that I might have to check myself into a mental hospital if I carried on. The meandering nothingness of the show’s plot and Will Arnett’s constant self-sabotaging probably felt true-to-life for him as a relapsing and recovering alcoholic, but as a viewer it became a drag real fast.,
Flowers: Season 1
Service: Seeso
Release Year: 2016
Watch: Prime Video
Capsule Review: Something just hit me wrong about the vibe of this thing. Seems it was created by Will Sharpe, the weirdo dude from White Lotus. Which in itself is odd. But the series itself is just too British for me and the tone was just not something I felt like dealing with. Something just felt off to me about both the production and the attitude about the creepy family dynamic, so I gave up.
The Franchise
Network: HBO
Release Year: 2024
Watch: HBO Max
Capsule Review: I made it through two episodes of this thing before my sense got ahold og my brain and asked it to just stop. We’ve had enough Hollywood-up-its-own-ass series, but this one felt like a bridge too far, as the goofiness and over-the-top nonsense circled all the way around to boring and insipid. I think it’s supposed to be a send up of the Marvel universe, but it feels more like a Troma production of a second-rate production of a Troma film. Yes, completely the snake eating its own tail. The issue is that Marvel and its movies have already become that which they’re satirically mocking. So, what’s the point?
Good Omens: Season 1
Service: Prime Video
Release Year: 2019
Watch: Prime Video
Capsule Review: I’ve read some Neil Gaiman. I’ve also read his Wikipedia and the dude has been accused of some pretty horrendous stuff. Ironic that this, his series, is about angels and devils and shit. Turns out I don’t much go for the whole biblical angel/devil thing and really bumped on the snarky British take on the heaven / hell relationship. As a non-religious person, I wasn’t offended or anything, but found the whole thing distasteful in terms of a television viewing experience. Seems I was alone, as they got three seasons out of this thing, but I could feel every fiber of my being pushing against its smarmy weirdness and pulled the plug after a few episodes.
Great News: Season 1
Network: NBC
Release Year: 2017
Watch: N/A
Capsule Review: TV News is always a strong setting for sitcoms. So, in an attempt, to find some sort of mainstream network series to have on in the background, I found this one. Turns out, network sitcoms are just plain bad. This one in particular feels like it was made by a room full of teenagers just throwing out completely immature b.s. against the wall. It’s honestly TV for dummies and, even a ten-episode season (the usual sitcom running at least twice that long), it couldn’t hold my interest and the stupid situations in this sitcom just felt repetitious and like they were trying to steal our souls with their inane lameness. Somehow it got a second season of thirteen episodes, but was unceremoniously cnaceled, even with the participation of one Tina Fey.
The Great: Season 2
Service: Hulu
Release Year: 2021
Watch: Hulu
Previous Full Review: The Great: Season 1
Capsule Review: I made it through season one of The Great and relatively enjoyed it. And there were elements of season two I liked, but the constant frantic and satirical energy of the show just wore me down. There is always a ton going on and looking ahead at ten episodes in this season and what became one additional season of another ten episodes, it just felt overwhelming. I do appreciate a lot about this show, but a season and a half of these costumed royals and the hectic nature of the mix of rat-a-tat dialogue, slapstick and constant volume spikes in hour-long chunks just made me tap out for fear it would fry my nerves.
The Handmaid’s Tale: Season 5
Service: Hulu
Release Year: 2022
Watch: Hulu
Previous Full Review: The Handmaid’s Tale: Seasons 1 – 3
Capsule Review: I made it through four seasons of The Handmaid’s Tale. That was my limit. I honestly tried season five, but looking at Elisabeth Moss’ face crunch and scrunch and blotch and blanch for another ten episodes — and another ten beyond that in a promised season six — was just too much to bear. I imagine the show was way beyond the original text by this season — though I don’t know that for certain — but the constant circles this thing goes in just drove me insane. I just couldn’t do it anymore and deleted it from my queue. Sorry, I’m down for the cause, but the cause was no longer something I could stomach.
High Desert
Network: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2023
Watch: Apple TV+
Capsule Review: I tried, I really did. This one had all the hallmarks of something I’d like, including Ben Stiller’s involvement coming off Severance. Like with a lot of Patricia Arquette properties, your milage may vary depending on how turnt-up she is. And here she is definitely dialed-up to ten and just wacky. As is the whole show. It’s just all over the place, which is fun for a second or five, but just becomes untenable as characters just bounce off one another and the writers seemed to lose control of the plot. I pulled out pretty deep into this experiment — and I can’t recall the inciting chord-pull, but something made me just turn this off and never come back to this mess of a project.
History of the World: Part II
Network: Hulu
Release Year: 2023
Watch: Hulu
Capsule Review: Are they high or drunk or both? Honestly, it doesn’t matter. I think all of these actors they gathered for what amounts to a mix of Drunk History and extended SNL sketches just did it because they all wanted to pay tribute to Mel Brooks. I have a feeling they all showed up, had a great time hanging out with each other and went home and never thought about this series ever again. I don’t much care for skits or sketches and this felt like a generally unfunny version of that. It tried to be the original movie, History of the World: Part I, but it wasn’t subversive, insightful or even stupid enough to garner my attention for more than even half the eight-episode season.
Home
Network: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2020
Watch: Apple TV+
Capsule Review: This was a COVID special. Honestly, it’s an outgrowth of our home show watching and the wacky dreams about wacky homes I’ve been having since childhood. I thought this might be an upgrade — a higher quality show that the lowbrow stuff on HGTV — but somehow Apple TV+ — as it’s want to do — sucks all the soul out of everything. And, sure, the houses they focus on are cool, the series itself is slick to the point of boring. I probably could have powered through and finished the season (there is a season 2), but the waterfall of nothingness took up a negative space in my head that I couldn’t get past.
Invasion: Season 3
Service: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2025
Watch: Apple TV+
Previous Full Review: Invasion: Season 1
Capsule Review: This show is a slog no matter what way you cut it. It is honestly mind-blowing how convoluted and nonsensical this show is. I made it through two seasons — threatening to quit after every episode — but the third (and hopefully last) season is just horrendous. Another Apple TV+ series that is international to fill a market, but in doing so ends up alienating every market globally. Ultimately, I’m not sure who this show is for — but know now that it’s not for me.
Love: Season 2
Service: Netflix
Release Year: 2017
Watch: Netflix
Previous Full Review: Love: Season 1
Capsule Review: Season one of this show was an entertaining mix of comedy and drama. But in the second season Paul Rust started to wear on me and the comedy balance get a little out of whack. I just didn’t want to watch another relationship show that involved alcoholism and addiction. I think maybe ther first season of Flaked — which happened between season one and two of this show — just kind of killed my taste for all of it. I’m sad not to see more Gillian Jacobs here, but it was just too much.
Master of None: Season 3
Service: Netflix
Release Year: 2021
Watch: Netflix
Previous Full Review: Master of None: Season 1
Capsule Review: I very much liked the first season of Master of None. Season two had its moments as well. I know Aziz had some… issues, but he brought out this third season as a completely different show (subtitled Master of None Presents: Moments in Love) and it was not for me. Both from an entertainment perspective, but also in a literal sense. It’s a slow, dreamy black lesbian relationship drama between Lena Waithe and another woman I don’t remember. If there was anything out there not made for a middle-aged, straight white man, this was pretty much it. I stuck it out for a few episodes hoping that perhaps it would revert to the old show, but, alas, this was something much, much different.
The Night Agent: Season 1
Network: Netflix
Release Year: 2023
Watch: Netflix
Capsule Review: I bailed pretty quickly on this show for no other reason than it just felt too cloistered to me. There’s something gray and claustrophobic and quiet that hit my eye and ear in a way I couldn’t see dedicating almost ten hours to this endeavor (plus, apparently, at least three more seasons that they piled on after I bailed). To add, I had just watched The Recruit and kept getting the two of them confused. Just start watching the first episode and I think you too will feel that odd sense of over-seriousness and weird lighting that got me to quit it before I was too deep in this FBI mystery story that does that thing where everything goes “all the way to the top!” I just didn’t want to watch another one of these things.
Our Flag Means Death: Season 1
Network: HBO Max
Release Year: 2022
Watch: HBO Max
Capsule Review: To be fair, I only made it through two episodes of this thing. Pirates are, apparently, not my jam. Comedy pirates maybe even less than non-comedy pirates. There’s something too broad about this thing, too old-timey and narrow. I do generally find Rhys Darby pretty funny, but he’s a good sidekick or secret weapon rather than a main player. It reminded me of Cabin Boy, which isn’t exactly singing its praises. I know people really liked this show, but I guess farce just isn’t my genre. Not everything is for everyone.
Palm Royale: Season 1
Network: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2024
Watch: Apple TV+
Capsule Review: I resisted watching this, but we hit a lull and I finally acquiesced to Ms. Hipster’s request and we fired it up. I feel like it was her call to quit it, though. Don’t get me wrong, I was totally on board with bailing on this series about 1960s rich ladies in Palm Beach, FL. Honestly, nothing could interest me less. Bored society ladies drinking, cheating and laying around the pool while they plan for parties for their weird charities is a non-starter. So, I started anyway and then stopped with relief. Somehow they got a second season out of this stinker, but I suppose there’s something for everyone.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Season 2
Network: Disney+
Release Year: 2026
Watch: Disney+
Capsule Review: My god, this show is tedious. I will say that some of the actors — who were absolutely terrible in the first season — upped their game a bit in the second. But there is something just never-endingly boring about all of it. It’s the pacing and the writing and, still, some of the acting which just saps any and all energy from this thing. Plus, it’s just kind of dumb and goofy. But not in a fun way. I just couldn’t hang anymore — and even Hipster Jr. Jr. was like, “Nah, we can be done with this.”
Physical: Season 2
Service: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2022
Watch: Apple TV+
Previous Full Review: Physical: Season 1
Capsule Review: I do really like Rose Byrne. She’s can do serious drama and can also be goofy and funny and charming. So, it’s really rough watching her in this incredibly dark show where everyone is either despicable or a moron or both. It takes all the ick of Mad Men and couches it in what is supposed to be a comedy. Comedy being lightly applied in this second season, which just became too much for me to take. And, look, I watch some twisted stuff, but there is something about the characters (especially Paul Sparks doing his creepy Paul Sparks thing) made me dread turning this thing on. There’s something just mean-spirited here that made it too cringe and surprises me it got a third season. Perhaps it was some deal to keep Byrne around for her way better Apple TV+ show, Platonic.
Shiny Happy People: Season 1
Network: Prime Video
Release Year: 2023
Watch: Prime Video
Capsule Review: Frankly, I recall very little about this docuseries. I know it’s about the Duggars and the weird cultish Christianity they practice, but that’s the extent of my memory. Granted, I generally find these types of things fascinating, but also frustratingly too common on American society. I think I got annoyed to the point that I couldn’t watch these people anymore. Plus, it was just sensationalized enough to keep my interest for two episodes, but no more.
Time Bandits
Network: Apple TV+
Release Year: 2024
Watch: Apple TV+
Capsule Review: I’m honestly not sure who thought this was a good idea. And I’m a person who liked the original 1981 movie. In fact, I saw it in the movie theater more than once. Let’s face it, Lisa Kudrow is an acquired taste. She’s a drop-in actress. Bring her in to be the wacky shrink or the annoying co-worker. But expecting her to carry a weird fantasy comedy series is just too much. And they changed the whole tone of the movie, dumbing it down and making it goofy and what I imagine they thing might be funny for like an immature, stoned 17 year old. It mostly just felt like a group of actors standing around, looking at a map and planning their next dumb, nonsensical adventure. I wasn’t interested in this version of this thing.
The Watcher
Network: Netflix
Release Year: 2022
Watch: Netflix
Capsule Review: I think it’s starting to become obvious that I don’t always enjoy Ryan Murphy shows. There is a cheese factor that you always have to put up with, which generally puts me off. I tuned into this because I’d read the original article about the Watcher, and now live about 20 minutes away from Westfield, NJ where the watcher story takes place. I thought, for that completely superficial reason, that I’d enjoy this thing. But, as usual, I bristled at Murphy’s artifice and decided I didn’t need the farcical version and wanted the creepy one. The Hitchcock one. But, nah, cheese all the way.
Wild Wild Country
Network: Netflix
Release Year: 2018
Watch: Netflix
Capsule Review: Yet another cult docuseries, I was drawn to this one because I remember all the outsized Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh stories from my youth. He of the many Rolls Royces. Cool. And while this series brings to light a lot of weirdness, it seemed overly long and somewhat repetitive. I probably could have and should have stuck it out, but for some reason it lost momentum for me and I shelved it two thirds of the way there.
The World’s Most Amazing Vacation Rentals: Season 1
Network: Netflix
Release Year: 2021
Watch: Netflix
Capsule Review: I was apparently reaching for any kind of background stuff during COVID, and this one made sense. Looking at sweet vacation rentals in exotic locales. But something about the production left me cold. I have expectations for the things running on my TV while I scroll and for whatever reason this just wasn’t hittin’. I bailed after a couple episodes, though Netflix gave it a whole second season. I will not be renting a hotel in the trees or an igloo, so I’m fine leaving this in the heap.
