Lower East Side

Brown Cafe

Brown Café

I think I sat on a stump or something at this joint. Or maybe it was some hippy drum. I don't know, but it looked almost as uncomfortable as it was. I was als...
Dark Room

Dark Room

Dark Room whispers in my ear. It says thing like, "you're already drunk; why not spend some time inside me?" and "it's only a few steps down, my friend, com...
The Whiskey Ward

The Whiskey Ward

A pool table, a jukebox and good beer on tap. It's like the best opening line ever written (if I do say so myself). This despite not really playing pool, and un...
Casanis

Casanis

Honestly, what do I know about French food? I went to Paris once and all I ended up eating were croissants and chicken with freedom fries. While this hardly r...
151

151

After I finished inking my tag,¡bobloblawlawblog!, on the subterranean door, I peaked my head inside the tiny, dark space and realized that I had come to th...
The Magician

The Magician

Poof! You're a sucky bar. We're honestly not really sure what's going on here. This place feels so oddly cold and empty that you'd figure the sibilant void was ...
Mercury Lounge

Mercury Lounge

Somehow I'd never seen a show here in all my time in NYC. I've also never been to CBGB's, but my time for that is clearly running out. I'm glad I finally made i...
Suba

Suba

Generally eating dinner in a dungeon would be an unpleasant experience. You have the rats and the dripping water and the whole screams-of-agony thing (which...
Motor City Bar

Motor City Bar

I could just as soon fix a space shuttle as I could an automobile. Lifting the hood of my car does nothing but point to my ignorance and make me feel like a...
Cafe Charbon

Cafe Charbon

Grenade! Sorry, I just felt like saying that for some reason. Maybe it's because this joint resembles a World War One trench--so much so that I was just wai...
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Spill

The only thing this place succeeded in doing was making me want to ''spill'' my dinner all over their deserted floor (wah wah). It's amazing how bad your de...
The Skinny

The SKINny

I love when bars try to fit in the name of the city they're in into the name of the joint. Okay, it's the lamest fuckin' thing ever, but I wanted to catch any o...
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Tenement

The name of this joint certainly doesn't inspire confidence. It brings about visions of supping at a card table in a dirty, narrow hallway with a crooked st...
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Ludlow Bar

Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Where did the guys with the spinners and the women with the nameplates come from? It's like I went to the lower e...