Mr.n. 1. mister: a title of respect prefixed to a man’s name or position 2. a title prefixed to a mock surname that is used to represent possession of a particular attribute, identity, etc.
hipster n. Slang. 1. a person who is hip. 2. HEPCAT 3. BEATNIK
Maybe you’ve figured out by reading this site that the Mr. Hipster moniker is applied with a bit of sarcasm and self-deprecation. After all, I listen to bad indie music, work in Midtown and wear clothes meant for eighth grade skaters. There is actually a story behind the name, so here it is:
One night a couple buddies and I were walking around the East Village (I think we were heading to Welcome to the Johnsons) when a couple unwashed lower east side polyester kids fell into step behind us. Aside from a penchant for geometrically challenged sideburns, there was nothing odd about the couple. I think I was wearing a funky leather jacket, jeans, probably a v-neck sweater and a pair of Dr. Martens. We could hear their conversation between puffs on their cigarettes. They were talking about some dj, and then the conversation turned to how the neighborhood was going downhill. One guy’s voice got particularly loud, “Yeah these fuckin’ hipsters are ruining everything!” I chuckled and looked around to see who they were talking about. We were the only ones within two blocks. I looked down at my ensemble and realized that everything I was wearing was purchased new, and that my sideburns–while in no way corporate or preppy–actually followed my jaw line in a very Brandon, 90210-ish way. Did that make me a bad person? Did that make me a hipster? I looked back at my accuser. He gave a little knowing smile and threw his cigarette like an eight-year-old girl into the gutter. It made me laugh. Here’s this snotty, twenty-year-old kid who throws like a complete pussy calling me names. I mean, the kid had no idea what he was talking about. The Random House Webster’s College Dictionary says that a hipster is someone who is hip. Fooled them!
Q: Who writes all this crap and may I borrow some of the witty writing for my site?
A: Everything on the site is written by me, mr. hipster. If you have any interest in using anything you find on this site, I’d really appreciate it if you let me know first.
Q: Who took all those off-kilter photos on Mr. Hipster’s booze & grub survey?
A: All the pictures on Mr. Hipster’s booze & grub survey were taken by me, mr. hipster (that’s right, Mr. Hipster and mr. hipster are one and the same.) I have no idea why you’d use them, but I’d appreciate if you didn’t use them without my permission.
Q: Why can’t you spell, punctuate or grammaticize?
A: I don’t have a dedicated staff or anything, so my editorial skills sometimes suffer. If you see anything that is misspelled or generally f’d up, feel free to let me know.
Q: Do you really have all those CDs, and can I get my hands on some of that fine music?
A: The CD collection and that other stuff is real (even atrocities like Bryan Adams Unplugged), so if you ever want a sample mp3 of something, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you something. Of course most of the bands in the hipster cd collection have links to band and/or fanpages where you can usually find sample mp3s.
Q: Why should I listen to anything you have to say–especially in those silly movie reviews you do?
A: Well, I was a film production major and a cinema studies minor at a major, private east coast university. I worked for a major Hollywood producer, but quit after he threw his sushi at me and took to calling me “the stupid, California surfer shithead” (and that’s just the really mild stuff). That should cover the movie section. Um, I worked for a major record label in their publicity department and produced Web sites for a badass rap and rock label. I worked for the largest English language book publisher in the world before they laid me off (and that’s the book section). Oh yeah, then I produced the #1 movie site on all of the great World Wide Web (at least for a month) — so there’s the damn movie stuff again. And then produced a cool music blog site (for a major corporation, I guess). So there’s, uh, music yet again. And then I worked for the world’s most hipster-ish digital ad agency. And then back at the second largest record company in the entire world. I’ve gone on to literally work for both the largest and the second largest PR firms in the digital agency world forever and again. Thus sealing my hipsterdome for all time. ‘Nuff said.
Q: Why aren’t there really any pictures of you on the site? I mean, we want to see what the hell you look like.
A: Like any good reviewer, I must disguise my identity. I don’t want preferential treatment at the McDonald’s or West Side Cottage, as it could skew Mr. Hipster review and lead potential patrons astray. If you really want to see what I look like, email me and I’ll send you a fuzzy picture of Andrew McCarthy or something.
Q: You’re so funny, smart and humble–will you date me?
A: Sorry ladies (and gents) Mr. Hipster is taken, but you can forward like and dislikes, pictures, whatever and I’ll pass it on to my single friends (good catches all).