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Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

by mr. hipster April 15, 2021
April 15, 2021
Apple Fumble
98
Apple Fumble

Have you ever been in a room where the entirety of the human population all cringe at once? Well, this commercial has that effect. Followed closely by a scramble and a bunch of hand-fighting for the remote to flip away as quickly as possible from the horrible racket that emanates from this absolute disaster of an advertisement.

It seems Apple has lost some of that magic. Or gone off and hired some sort of clown shop to create their commercials. At the heart of this one is the most agitating snippet of “music” I’ve heard since “How Bizarre” by OMC. It’s called “The Conference” and it’s by Nitin Sawhney. This Sawhney fella was clearly contracted by Satan himself to pen this composition, which brings together all the most annoying, irritating and combative elements of “world” music. And then sticks it right in your eye. It’s a jarring scat-like thing audibly on par with a stuffy cat licking its own asshole.

I suppose the purpose of this piece is to tout the unbreakable screen of the new iPhone 12. So they take a situation that we’ve all been in — fumbling our iPhone in a moment of panic — and exaggerate it over the span of twenty or so seconds. I get it. What I don’t get is this woman’s absolute inability to hold onto her phone. Not only does this incredibly awkward-looking juggling act remind all of us with iPhones just how damned slick and hard to hold onto iPhones are without a case on them, it also brings into sharp relief that maybe carrying around a $700 micro-computer made of glass in our hands while we walk down a sidewalk isn’t the best idea in the world. It would be like Ford advertising the Pinto driving down a street, almost getting rear-ended 57 times and then the driver exerting a deep “whew” when the last car finally nails him and he doesn’t explode. Remind the consumer of your design flaws and vulnerabilities and then tell them that it’s cool, we put a thicker bumper on the thing so it doesn’t self-destruct.

Also, what the hell is this move? I mean, why would you go from trapping the phone between your wrists — which is a really bad choice to begin with — to purposely dropping the phone…

iphone arm save

To try to like a soccer volley the thing off your thigh and back up to your head, maybe? You’re not fucking Pelé.

Iphone Soccer Volley

But way more egregious than this lady’s sheer ignorance about how catching and gravity works is the choice by the spot’s directors to prove the strength of the phone’s screen — which is, once again, the point of the whole commercial — by making the thing land on… sand! Not the brick-looking sidewalk, or the street, but a nice, soft patch of dirt. Why not have the thing find purchase on the back of a passing goose? Or the gentle curls of a small child? Or even the friendly confines of a fold of flesh of a girthy bench napper? Seriously, though. This undoes the entire point of this entirely horrendous commercial.

iPhone Dirt


See for yourself. It’s the magical iPhone that can resist a three-foot fall into a planting bed. Yay for Apple. Yay for technology. Boo for us.

Bad Commercial
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  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Falafel Hut

      July 12, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Falafel Hut

      July 12, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary