Movies

Enjoy the rantings as Mr. Hipster proves he slept through his film criticism courses in college.

Quills

Quills

Rating:  Ugh, there is really very little redeeming about this movie. Okay, Geoffrey Rush is a good actor, Kate Winslet’s fair, and you get…

Punch-Drunk Love

Punch Drunk Love

Rating:  Where to start? Well, I guess the beginning is the best place. First, we have an Adam Sandler movie that’s as far away…

Psycho Beach Party

Psycho Beach Party

Rating:  So you like John Waters. You love kitsch. You listen to Cher for the sheer thrill of it all. Do you believe in…

Prometheus

Prometheus

Rating:  So we have this great title, a kernel of an idea and think the trailer could be really cool! That’s great, Mr. Scott,…

Primer

Primer

Rating:  Not since Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey have I been so perplexed by time travel. And if I can be confused by a…

The Prestige

The Prestige

Rating:  I knew next to nothing about this movie before I rented it. I couldn’t even remember if it was the one with Ed…

Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes

Rating:  ***SPOLIERS*** Okay, I don’t usually reveal any major plot points in my movie rants, but this one deserves to be ripped apart from…

Pineapple Express

Pineapple Express

Rating:  Hahaha, stoner humor is sooo funny. Funny like the whacked out naked guy wearing a top hat directing the departing traffic out of…

Pecker

Pecker

Rating:  Is it my imagination or has John Waters been making the same movie for the past 15 years? He’s the only director in…

Party Monster

Party Monster

Rating:  Oh crap, where do I start with this one? I’m pre-disposed to hating club kids. The whole life of decadence thing just isn’t…

Pan's Labyrinth

Pan’s Labyrinth

Rating:  It’s literally been a million years since I’ve seen a movie in the theater. Despite living right around the corner from a great…

Panic Room

Panic Room

Rating:  Normally I would rip a movie like this to shreds. You know exactly what’s going to happen the minute the film starts. Meg…

The Others

The Others

Rating:  As a person who loves twists and turns in his movies, even I am appalled at the number of movies that have lined…

Old School

Old School

Rating:  Are we supposed to pretend that Revenge of the Nerds and Animal Housenever existed? That seems to be what the makers of Old…

Nurse Betty

Nurse Betty

Rating:  This thing had amateur written all over it. That’s a shame considering this movie starred the very talented Morgan Freeman and the surprisingly…

The Number 23

The Number 23

Rating:  Do you ever watch a movie you just know is gonna suck? You ask yourself, “How bad could it really be?” The answer…

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men

Rating:  Who would have thought a guy with a Raggedy Andy haircut could be so menacing? Javier Bardem as the maniacal hitman/killer in No…

Next

Next

Rating:  There are some movies that are such an utter waste of time that they hardly deserve a review at all. And then there…

Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite

Rating:  We love to see the geeks win. That’s why we have Revenge of the Nerds andWeird Science and Loverboy (or whatever). The problem…

Murderball

Murderball

Rating:  Documentaries are always tough to judge. You must first care about the subject matter–or at least allow yourself to get drawn in if…

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Rating:  Mr. And Mrs. Shit would be more like it. Seriously. Are there any decent scriptwriters out there anywhere? This thing had about as…

Moon

Moon

Rating:  This thing had “me” written all over it. I’m generally a big fan of sci-fi mindfucks. Witness my lone praise of A.I. and…