Ford Company

Ford Motor Company

I’m at a loss to explain the advertising acumen behind the brilliant new Ford Motors campaign slogan: “If you haven’t looked at Ford lately… look again.” So, what you’re saying is, “Our cars over the last twenty or thirty years have really sucked, and we know that any sane person would have no reason to patronize our sucky company, but it’s probably been so long since you’ve even considered us an option, maybe you’ve forgotten how bad we suck and are ready to check out our same substandard product.” This is the worst idea I’ve heard since… since the Pinto.

Or the ever-so-unsteady Bronco II…

Let’s hope this isn’t the big move Ford is making after firing their CEO in the wake if the Firestone tire disaster. If the website of Ford’s advertising agency, J. Walter Thompson, is any indication, things may only be getting worse.

“Hi, I’m William Clay Ford, Jr. and I’m beggin you to take this piece of shit Ford off my hands. What, do you want to give money to the Japs or the Krauts? Be a fuckin’ American and buy one of my cars. Every dollar you spend on those superior foreign cars is a dollar for the Taliban or some other terrorist group that will just end up bombing your home or adding your virgin daughter to a its harem. So, buy a Ford… unless you love terrorism. Thanks.”