Mr. Hipster
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      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

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      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

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      Turnstile: Never Enough

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      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

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      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

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      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

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      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

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      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

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      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

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      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

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      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

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      February 13, 2024

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      The Sympathizer

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      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

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      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

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Montclair: Hipster Central

by mr. hipster March 20, 2015
March 20, 2015
Montclair Center
71
Montclair Center

I’ve heard it called the “Upper West Side of New Jersey,” but now Mr. Hipster calls it home. This doesn’t mean I’m going to start Mr. Hipster West, or any nonsense like that, but anything is possible. It means, more or less, that Mr. Hipster is just becoming more mature and stuff. I’ve moved into a town (as the nickname implies) filled with the three Ls: lesbians, literati and liberal Jews. Ms. Hipster used to be a reporter and, um, has been told by several people that she reminds them of Nancy McKeon, who haaas to be a lesbian (but is in deep denial, obviously). I worked for a book publisher for a couple years, so there’s my “l,” but have never been told I look like anybody other than Andrew McCarthy—which is a dirty, rotten lie. Oh, and Hipster Jr. goes to go to a JCC daycare and loves nothing more than to do the Kosher thing and vote Democrat (or Socialist if he’s feeling frisky). He looks kind of like a hobbit.

Now that I’ve sold the move to the skeptical jackasses out there, I’ll have you know that urban-suburban is the new urban–plus like four bedrooms and a couple thousand square feet. And if that isn’t enough, we can now walk to three, yes three, different Indian restaurants, a Jamaican joint, a couple Japanese, French, Mexican, barbeque, Cuban, Thai, American, Italian and even a few art house movie theaters. So suck on that you jerk-offs on the UES! All we’re missing is a Greek diner to complete the array. Oh, wait; we have one of those too! I hate having to prove my hipsterishness (or defend it), but this move doesn’t spell the end of anything; it spells the beginning of a whole new New Jersey adventure.

I can just see me and Peter King sharing a giant sub sandwich at the local deli. And maybe uber-celeb, and Montclair resident, Stephen Colbert, and I will bump in to each other while browsing the memoir section at the Montclair library. Only a couple weeks in, and I’ve already sat at bar around the corner with none other than Peter Greene. Who’s that? Dude, he was Zed (yes, the guy with The Gimp) in Pulp Fiction, and the bad guy in The Mask!

All that’s left now is for me to buy a Volvo station wagon, have one-point-five more kids, build a white picket fence and go to one of those town meetings at which I complain about those evil-doers from the rainbow-flagged congregational church parking in front of my house. For those of you hipsters living in Williamsburg, that’s kind of like bitching about the stupid couple at your co-op meeting who insists on putting their Adirondack chairs out in their garden apartment, when it’s so clearly stated in rule 3.16 of the bylaws that all sitting surfaces must be made of quality no less than oak.

It was somehow inevitable that I would end up here. The area in Los Angeles in which I grew up was similar in its make-up (minus the whole Newark proximity thing) and general feel. And now Hipster Jr. will be able to enjoy his upbringing in a community with decent public schools, tree-lined streets and like two Dunkin’ Donuts within walking distance. So, he may grow up fat and stupid, but at least he’ll be able to say he’s from the same town as Buzz Aldrin, Kreskin and the Indian dude from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle.

Montclair reading:
Baristanet
Mano a Vino Montclair
The Montclair Times

New Jersey
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Mr. Hipster
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      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary