There have been many silly and asinine car names over the years. Some that come to mind are the Renault Le Car, the AMC Gremlin, the Mercury Zephyr, and, well, the Hummer. I figured that these days, with all the millions of marketing dollars, market research and branding firms that charge more to make a Nike swoosh rip-off than 20 of me earn in a year, that they’d be better these days. Pulling out of my train station, I was sitting waiting to make a left and noticed the name of the car in front of me. Honda Fit. Seriously? What the fuck is that? Economy of letters for an economy car? Nope, I feel like they may have just mailed that one in. That led me to start looking around to see if I could find the dumbest car names of vehicles currently in production. Here are the top ones I found in no particular order of awfulness:
The shittiest party ever.
Toyota Yaris Sounds like some sort of Nordic superhero, but looks like a child’s beach bucket on wheels.
Volkswagen Tiguan I have one of these and still think the whole Tiger/Iguana combo is stupid.
A piece of shit in any language.
Honda Fit For when you get bored with your Wii, you can drive this shitbox.
Nissan Cube Tron wants his shiz back.
Suzuki Grand Vitara The little blue car?
Mazda Tribute Tribute to what? Shitty styling?
Mitsubishi Endeavor Endeavor to be a better vehicle.
Kia Borrego Sounds like a Korean company inventing a Spanish word that sort of sounds like “barrio.”
Range Rover Evoque To quote my favorite Zagat review ever: “Very Fench. Very gay.”
Suzuki Kizashi Isn’t this a cereal that makes you poop easier?