Amish MarketAmazing, Kelly McGillis is nowhere to be found in this 8th Avenue establishment. This joint is about as Amish as I am, and about half as tasty. A couple co-workers of mine swear by the place, but it seems more like an inflated bodega than anything else. The fancy wood and clean display cases not withstanding, the joint has relatively uninspiring pre-made sandwiches, a salad bar and a bunch of other stuff that is essentially cooked ahead of time and then reheated for your consumption. Honestly, if I wanted leftovers, I’d take some of the moldy pizza out of my own fridge and nuke it back to life. The real bonanza here is the “free” bottle of water you get with your meal, which we once found to have a Continental Airlines label on it, but is more often filled with tap water from the mop sink in the back room and affixed with a label with an Amish horse and buggy on it. By the way, any time a place claims to be giving you something for nothing, they are, in fact, just building it into the price by charging you more for the non-free shit. [MF]

731 9th Ave (bet 49th St & 50th St)