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Holsten’s

by mr. hipster October 18, 2021
October 18, 2021
Holsten's
76
Holsten's
NJ Town: Bloomfield
Cuisine: Diner / Ice Cream

Before this was The Sopranos joint, it was just the local rundown diner and ice cream parlor where your little kids wanted to go after graduating fifth grade or to celebrate a wonderfully out-of-tune chorus performance. It was the place your parents got suckered into buying a toy car or Beanie Baby from the random pile of junk Holsten’s put out for the very purpose of suckering grandparents into buying more junk to fill your house (and not theirs). It was serviceable, but also weirdly good in both a nostalgic and satisfying way.

And, frankly, I’m not certain why Tony and family decided to come to this particular restaurant. On this particular busy intersection of Bloomfield, New Jersey. It’s not necessarily near the Soprano’s house. It’s certainly not a sexy spot to literally end one of the most celebrated television series of all time. And, don’t be fooled, the version of Holsten’s you see on the show isn’t what you’re going to get when you walk in. The chiaroscuro lighting, the jukebox playing 70s and 80s power pop, the booths that can actually fit four adults, including one the size of Tony Soprano. None of that is here. It resembles a 1970s basement, truth be told. So, why, again, would they use this place to wrap up this beloved show?

Well, because, like The Sopranos, this joint is about family. It is the definition of a family restaurant. Any hour of the day, there are kids here. Babies, toddlers, tweens, teens. You name it, they’re here. Eating those thin-pattied burgers off the flat top, well-done fries and, of course, hot fudge sundaes in silver dishes. Sometimes with enough hot fudge, often times with not enough. Because the help is also made up of children. I mean not like child-labor-aged children, but teens, who are not known for their care with a fudge pump. Oof, that sounds super-gross. Sorry. And, of course, the place trades on its Soprano fame. Photos of the cast and crew line the walls. Because New Jersey just can’t help itself.

Anyhow, I imagine that those tour buses that must inevitably pull up and dump people out to purchase some homemade chocolates (which actually make a really nice gift to bring to peoples’ houses) or a sundae might be disappointed with what they find inside. Hollywood magic and all of that. But that doesn’t mean even those of us who have spent a decade or two seated in one of their tiny booths, looking over their simple menu and opting for the burger, once again, don’t feel like it’s a place our children will feel a warm feeling about as they age. They don’t know that feeling is nostalgia, but we know. And that’s what makes Holsten’s what it is.


1063 Broad St. – Bloomfield
973/338-7091
holstens.com


-Diner-Ice Cream-OpenBloomfield
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    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

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