Upper East Side

Zucchero e Pomodori

Zucchero e Pomodori

This neighborhood needs another Italian restaurant like a Port Authority bathroom needs another strange smell. We’re not claiming this is the latest in a long…

Yura on Madison

Yura on Madison

Muffins and shit do not a restaurant make. I debated (with myself) on more than one occasion whether or not to even include this place…

Trinity Pub

Trinity Pub

Addendum [hey, things change] It is very seldom that I am overwhelmed by drunkenness. Not my drunkenness, mind you, but the drunkenness of others. There…

Spada

Spada

[CLOSED] You’re not going to be blown away. You’re probably not even going to remember what the place is called. Sparta? Spade? Spata? What you…

Soup Burg – Madison Ave.

Soup Burg – Madison Ave.

[CLOSED] Grease is the word–is the word–is the word. It’s hot, smooth, and it’s steaming. All horrendous Frankie Valli puns aside; this place is a…

Penang (Upper East Side)

Penang (Upper East Side)

[CLOSED] We’re always reminded of some sergeant or other from some Vietnam movie (Full Metal Jacket?) screaming about Denang when we hear the name of…

Payard

Payard

[CLOSED] Ooh Muffy, please pass me another one of those cream cheese and mint leaf finger sandwiches. I’m soooo precious! I’m soooo French! I’m soooo…

Maz Mezcal

Maz Mezcal

Another thing we thought we’d never see: expensive Mexican food. Usually, in order to justify higher prices for what used to be cheap grub, restaurateurs…

Martell’s Restaurant

Martell’s Restaurant

[CLOSED] Sometimes you wish for something original. You ain’t going to find it here. Martell’s falls into the “bar and grill” mold, which are always…

Mad River Bar and Grill

Mad River Bar and Grill

Another cookie-cutter UES bar and grill, with dark wood, a brass rail below the long bar and front windows that open in summer. Mad River?…

Luv Buzz

Luv Buzz

[CLOSED] Luv Buzz is supposed to be some sort of cyber singles bar, but comes off looking more like the bastard child of Barbarella. The…

Kings’ Carriage House

Kings’ Carriage House

Consistently noted as one of Manhattan’s most romantic restaurants, King’s Carriage House is the perfect place to pop the question, spend a nice Valentine’s Day…

J.G. Melon

J.G. Melon

So, it ain’t the Plaza. Actually, it’s barely some place you’d think about consuming foodstuffs. The dust alone could choke a horse. This cramped, old…

Hunters

Hunters

[CLOSED] We can only assume this joint is supposed to resemble a hunting lodge or something, but instead it reminds us more of a geriatric,…

Gaf Bar

Gaf Bar

[CLOSED] There really are a lot of bars in this city that deserve the moniker “world’s biggest hole in the wall.” None is more deserving…

Etou

Etou

[CLOSED] Et tu Etou? Yet another new contender in the UES sushi war–vying for the almighty yuppie dollar and their penchant for things sans fire….