Upper West Side

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Eighty One

The first thing that strikes you about this place is the awesome bordello-like cheesiness of the surroundings. The big banquets decked out in what can only be...
Citrus

Citrus Bar & Grill

I swear I went to have a meal here back in like the mid-90s when Ms. Hipster lived on the UWS. That meal ended with a glass of water and some frayed nerves. H...
Tenzan

Tenzan

Eating on the second floor in Manhattan is always a little disconcerting. It's as if one of your buddies converted his one bedroom into a restaurant and invited...
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Mod

What the hell are people thinking with the velvet ropes--especially velvet ropes on the UWS in a bar that nobody wants to hang out in? We were actually deni...
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Señor Swanky’s

Señor Swanky's loosely translates in English to Mr. Filthy's. It's an apt name, too, as this joint is just downright dirty. It's hard to explain, but the fi...
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Kitchen 82

The concept behind this place is actually kinda cool. Charlie Palmer (who I originally thought was that old golfer with the funny pants and the awful vineya...
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Aix

I swear we've been in this place in at least four of its incarnations. The latest, Aix (French for "overpriced"), is as big and overly-bright as the others....
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Boat Basin Cafe

I can't help but feel like an extra from Gladiator standing in this joint. Stepping below West End Avenue into this ring of stone and concrete is kind of like b...
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Calle Ocho

This joint is certainly impressive enough when you first walk in. The front bar, which is separated from the dining room beyond, is well lit, loungey and som...
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Assaggio

What? What's that? Sorry, I can't hear you over the din; the sound waves flying out of everyone's heads are bombarding my eardrums and inflaming my tinnitus...
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P&G Cafe

The first thing I though was, "Shouldn't the beers be cheaper in this dump?" Seriously, if you're going to charge five bucks for a stinkin' beer, at least g...
George Keeley

George Keeley

This place somehow reminds me of the lobby of the giant, 1980's UES apartment building I used to live in--and that was before they ripped out the Fortress of So...
Hi-Life Bar & Grill

Hi-Life Bar & Grill

For whatever reason, this place reminds me of an old, black leather chair. I'm really sure why, but it just seems to fit. Of course, this chair would be sitting...