Yorkville

Wicked Wolf

[CLOSED] One patron says, “It looks as though the owner’s basement barfed on the walls.” Everything from old banners to a Lil’ Penny doll adorn…

Who’s On First

Who’s On First

[CLOSED] One of the original kiddy joints on 1st Avenue, Who’s On First has somehow survived the slaughter of its UES brethren. It does this…

Vespa

Vespa

[CLOSED] A crowded little Italian place on the UES. Sound familiar? It is. The funny thing is, we never get sick of decent, mid-priced pasta….

Trilogy Bar & Grill

Trilogy Bar & Grill

[CLOSED] With the demise of Dakota, Trilogy takes over as the ultimate UES ughfest. Pushing the stereo to decibels not heard since theater owners first…

Taco Today

Taco Today

Mmm, Chinese Mexican food. As most people in New York have come to know over the years, most take-out Mexican restaurants in the city are…

Sushi Hana

Sushi Hana

[CLOSED] Designed to look like a quaint Japanese dojo or something, we actually saw a crazed, drunken man dressed in fatigues staring in the window…

Sushi Generation

Sushi Generation

[CLOSED] It takes years of eating sushi before you start to realize the difference between excellent sushi, good sushi, mediocre sushi and bad sushi. The…

Sotto Cinque

Sotto Cinque

[CLOSED] For the truly cheap and the insanely tasteless, try this “bistro” on the upper east side where the only thing smaller than the portions…

Snapper Creek

Snapper Creek

[CLOSED] Nicknamed “Snapple Creek”, because, like Snapple, this place used to be all the rage and now nobody’ll touch the shit with a ten foot…

Ski Bar

[CLOSED] If you like paying a cover, plastic shavings floating in your $7 beer and teenagers puking to loud spring break music, this is your…

Ship of Fools

Ship of Fools

[CLOSED] If this were 1991, we would call this place Ship of Tools. Actually, we would probably still be calling it by its former incarnation,…

Session 73

Session 73

The bar that represented everything that is wrong and evil about the UES, The Yorkville Brewery, is no longer. In its place comes what is…

Seasons Restaurant

Seasons Restaurant

[CLOSED] There’s nothing better in this world than having a large Greek lady with a head of hair that looks as if a giant condor…

Santa Fe Bar & Grill

Santa Fe Bar & Grill

[CLOSED] I can still hear the faint sound of my rumbling stomach bouncing off the adobe walls in Santa Fe’s vast emptiness. Why there was…

Sala Thai

Sala Thai

[CLOSED] Honestly, you either like Thai food or you don’t. If you do, go here and get serviceable Thai food served in pleasant surroundings. We’ve…

Ryan’s Daughter

Ryan’s Daughter

Hmmm, boring. Once a yuppie mecca, this place actually had the nerve to demand patrons produce I.D. proving they were over 24! On top of…

Ruby’s Tap House

Ruby’s Tap House

[CLOSED] Yet another of the 2nd Avenue watering holes that caters to the young at heart and the identificationally challenged. One regular claims, “I suggest…

Reif's Tavern

Reif’s Tavern

Ah, so this is where all the depressed, 60-year old divorcés hang out. Nothing says fun like four old dudes in Irish snap-brim caps holding…

Pedro’s

[CLOSED] Became: Judge Crater’s   is now: Biddy’s Pub Critics describe it as a “hot smoky box not unlike being trapped on the surface of a…

Panorama Cafe

Panorama Cafe

[CLOSED] Hello, I’m Eurotrash, party of six. Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be another annoying subspecies of freaks on the UES, we find…

Pablo’s

Pablo’s

[CLOSED] Atmosphere is not Pablo’s strongest suit. We were actually wondering at what garage sale they picked up the tables and chairs they use in…