Cuisine: Fast Food / Mexican
Back when we lived in NYC, someone made the mistake of opening a Taco Bell a block from our apartment. Because we robbed that place blind. Entire, robust meals for like six bucks to feed our grumbling bellies and hungover heads. Every Sunday afternoon. I’d make the 500-foot walk, get a bag and spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch with Ms. Hipster upping my calorie count and satiating my screaming brain for way less than that much food should cost. It was like high school, but with a woman. Taco Bell played a big part in our early life together as live-ins.
Flash forward a bunch of years and we’ve moved to NJ and needed to find our new Taco Bell. Unfortunately there were none on our block. Let alone our town. Or the town next door. Or the one next door to that. So we spied one on the way to the mall. On the opposite side of the highway, which in NJ means you have to drive another two miles in the direction you’re already going, past insane on/off merges from giant strip malls, exit into some sort of helix that requires you to pull three gs, only to get back on the same bonkers highway going the other way. All to eat a boil-in-the-bag taco. But we did it. And then we did it again. And then this stupid Taco Bell in Little Falls became our new go-to. Even though it was a complete headache to get to and incredibly dangerous to pull into, and really only became a thing when we were heading somewhere else in the opposite direction. But there are only so many times you can pretend to go to the Guitar Center when what you’re really doing is fiending for some Nachos Bell Grande.
Is there anything special about this Taco Bell? Nope. Has it been refurbished over time, acquiescing to TB’s corporate update mandate to not look like 1986 anymore? Probably begrudgingly. Have they mostly gotten my order out fast and fresh? Except the times where they somehow completely forgot my order, even though we were like two of six people in the whole place? But then they gave me a certificate for a free soft taco to apologize? Yes and yes. Did I ever cash in the free taco? I did not; it vanished with all the other paper that made it into made wallet and got tossed with a Spring cleaning.
Look, I grew up with real Mexican food. This is not that. But, despite having the real thing, I still chose to eat way too much Taco Bell. Which is, of course, the McDonald’s of Mexican. And that’s fine, because sometimes you just want that specific inauthentic taste that is and of itself a thing. Go ahead, as a bonafide Southern Californian, I give you permission to make a run for the border. Or live más. Or however you want to experience this serviceable location (despite its 1.9 rating on Yelp!). Though I did once have to sit there eating my meal while they administered an interview to one of the dumbest candidates I’ve ever heard in my life. It almost made me toss my lunch out of pure cringe, but I powered through for the love of the juego.
1173 Route 46 – Little Falls
973/256-4008
tacobell.com
