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The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe

by mr. hipster June 22, 2025
June 22, 2025
The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe
10
The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe
Genre: Walking Simulator
Developer: Crows Crows Crows
Release Year: 2022

This is not a game I’d ever heard of. But apparently it was popular amongst some of the nerdier game factions. So much so that the creators of Severance took notice and were in some way inspired by The Stanley Parable’s themes and, especially in season two, some of the look and feel. Honestly, that was my motivation for downloading and trying this thing out. A game that originally came out as an add-on to Half-Life (a game I first played back in probably 1999) in 2011 in its first iteration, then as a stand-alone in 2013 and finally added additional content to its rather small footprint in this “Ultra Deluxe” edition in 2022. In other words, this is not a modern game in any sense of the word. The graphics are… well, they’re completely fine for this game such as it is, but if you were to buy a game in 2025 and were handed this MS Paint nonsense, you’d definitely feel a little underwhelmed.

As I’ve stated like 1,000 times on this site, I’m a video game novice. I mean, I’ve been playing them for decades, but slowly and poorly. That should be made obvious by the fact I’m reviewing a game that’s been out in some iteration for the past fifteen years. So, when Googling the genre of The Stanley Parable, what kept coming up was “walking simulator.” WTF is that? I mean, that doesn’t sound like something you’d have to simulate. We can all do it. Or at least understand the mechanics involved in doing it. But, hey, if the video game nerds say it’s that, then it’s that. But, really, it’s a weird choose-your-own-adventure narrative that is just full of snark and meta and creeping horror that is in no way actual horror. It’s commentary on soulless work, the surveillance state, free choice and video games themselves. Which had honestly confounded me while playing, and had me consulting the Internet to understand what the hell was really going on with this oddball game.

You’re a dude named Stanley. An office drone who sits in a tiny office all day typing stuff on a keyboard that is dictated to you by some omnipotent power. You don’t really understand what you’re inputting, or why you’re doing it. But you do it anyway, because. Sounds a bit Severance-y, eh? One day you kind of blink into existence in your little work closet and all of your co-workers have vanished. You, as Stanley, proceed to leave your space and wander around the empty office while a sarcastic Brit narrates your moves. Sometimes he tries to tell you where to go, other times he questions your choices. And sometimes he just has running commentary about whatever. It’s all first-person, so you just kind of see what’s in front of you and have no real sense of self. Which, based on the theme of the game, makes a ton of sense. When you come to two doors and the narrator is basically saying “Stanley takes the left door to go to the conference room…” kind of trying to pre-determine your choice, you feel this great urge to not listen to him and take the right door. But is that what he’s trying to do? This asshole narrator? Is he manipulating me? And is “me” Stanley, or am I me, Mr. Hipster, the dude sitting in his house playing The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe? Kinda fucks you up. Like that jerk who asks you, right before you’re about to hit a pool ball, if you breathe in or out when striking it. It gets in your head. And that’s the point.

Though, I wondered many times during my game play: am I actually having fun? After all, you’re not shooting anything. Nothing really jumps out at you. There’s not even really that much thought put into the decisions you have to make. It’s not a puzzle-based game or anything. Mostly you’re just deciding which path to take and maybe if you should push button A or button B. The joy — if you could call it that — is in the journey. Not so much discovery per se, but the face-scrunching, what-the-hell of it all. There is no dying in this game, as far as permanent death goes. Once you either “solve” the game or reach some sort of dead end or whatever, you basically just start over in your work closet again and go through the motions. There are instances where the narrator just kind of decides you’re done and sends you back to the beginning. Just to be a dick. I believe there’s at least one scenario where you find yourseld in an endless loop with no way to end the game, so you literally have to quit out of it. Sometimes things will change after a restart, however. A new door might open or appear out of nowhere. You might figure out if you go left-left-left it gets you to a different branch of the map than left-left-right. All while that annoying Brit sometimes encourages you, sometimes berates you and other times pretty much tells you you’re a p.o.s. It’s weird.

And while you enter oddball halls, creepy outdoor paths, museums to the inane and confusing and sometimes the internal guts of some nightmare 1984 workplace — and even a really uncomfortable night in your sad aparetment with your only friend, who happens to be a bucket — it all feels kind of like a waste of time. You never really progress. You never really get anywhere. Nothing improves. You just fall back into the endless loop of an office drone trying to find your way our of a place that has no real way out. And then you just turn it off one day and never play again. Because what would be the point? Which, as you can imagine, would please the hell out of the makers of the game. The same makers who ask pretty typical video game questions and command you to do some pretty typical video game tasks whenever you boot the thing up, only to mock you for actually answering their questions or completing their tasks. It would be like the engineers and marketers of the AMC Gremlin calling to troll you for being an idiot for buying their stupid, ugly car. Thanks, bro, like I don’t feel bad enough about myself for buying this game in the first place instead of some super-popular medieval adventure game where I get to kill orcs and shit.

2022Crows Crows CrowsVideo GamesWalking Simulator
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      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary