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Ready Player One

by mr. hipster April 10, 2018
April 10, 2018
Ready Player One
75
Ready Player One
Genre: Science Fiction
Author: Ernest Cline
Publication Year: 2011
Length: 374 pages

I was recommended this book way back before Spielberg decided to make his divisive movie out of it. Because of course he did. I was told, probably based solely on my age, that I would absolutely love it. To be fair, I do seem to read way more sci-fi-ish things than I used to. Or reverted back to my 12-year-old self and kind of slipped back into it. The thing is, I am and must be the exact target audience for this book. I believe the man’s life on whom this whole world is based is supposed to be born the exact year I was, and clearly interacted with many of the same pop-culture related things I did as a child — though his experience was way nerdier than mine.

So how far can nostalgia go? Because basing a text solely on fond memories of video games, music and D&D will only get you so far. And in the hands of a not very deft writer, this whole thing could come across as a sappy voyage through the 80s section of a very, very sad museum. Unfortunately, it’s pretty clear from the beginning that Cline isn’t up to the task. His future world building is typical, his characters flat and the general writing style more YA than anything I’ve ever read. Granted, I don’t think I’ve ever read a specifically YA novel since I was a very YA and before novels were actually classified as YA, but I imagine the kind of  yadayadaing of details, the limp language and dialogue that could have been generated by a couple monkeys and a Palm Pilot would be the order of the day.

The whole of the plot is essentially an Atari game. This slovenly kid, Wade — who, I imagine isn’t cast that way in the movie — in 2044 America spends the entirety of his time in a virtual reality world called the OASIS. The OASIS was invented by this guy James Halliday, who was obsessed with the 1980s for some unknown reason and when he died, instead of taking his wealth with him, he put his money and company up for grabs in the form of an Easter egg somewhere in the expansive OASIS virtual universe. By the way, the real world is seemingly post-apocalyptic after some environmental and financial issues, so finding any kind of dough, let alone the astronomical amount Halliday left behind, cold be life changing. Wade (aka Parzival), and presumably millions of others, who are searching for the egg are nicknamed Gunters and spend a good deal of their days researching Halliday’s life and listening to, watching and playing 80s media, as they assume any and all clues in finding the egg will employ that 80s knowledge. So, it’s kind of stupid out of the gate. The author continuously brings up random 80s stuff in a random manner, sprinkling it throughout when he most likely felt it had been too many pages since his last reference. It’s exhausting. He also brings in some 70s items for unknown reasons, but whatever.

The majority of the action takes place in this virtual world, which has little in the way of stakes other than a person’s avatar could “die” and lose everything in his knapsack. The thing that really sinks the narrative, though, and is the kiss of death for any supernatural, sci-fi, magic or any such plot: he changes the rules as we progress when he paints himself into a narrative corner. He continuously invents magical artifacts and powers and various other things for the first time when they happen to come in handy to get a character out of a bind or move the plot along. Oh, did I happen to mention the bad guys have this thing where they can essentially track anyone they want whenever they want within the OASIS? And everyone knows it? Yeah, I know I didn’t mention that critical fact earlier, and none of the other characters seemed to be concerned about it until the bad guys use it when there was seemingly no other way for them to move ahead. It’s not as if it’s a one-time use thing either. They can use it once a day in perpetuity. There are things like this constantly, and it’s aggravating as hell. It’s bad world building and poor storytelling.

That’s aside, the characters are incredibly uninteresting. They’re basically video game characters — which have been better fleshed out in multiple Pixar movies. The story is just so PG (despite some salty language and a couple murders) that it feels genteel when I don’t think it means to be. Somewhere Cline thought he was writing Blade Runner or even WarGames, when he was, in fact, writing a flaccid version of another Dabney Coleman film, Cloak & Dagger. To be fair, I don’t know what Cline’s initial goals were with this novel, though I don’t imagine even he thought it would be as big as it’s become. The fact that the thing literally involves some kid and a few of his friends trying to get three keys to get through three gates in order to “win,” isn’t exactly ground-breaking or even compelling stuff. It’s kind of retro in all the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons. And like everything Gen X, that’s a bummer, man.

2011Ernest ClineScience Fiction
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      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary