Diary

I have a lot on my mind. Sometimes it causes insomnia. Maybe this will help.

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Be Your Own DJ

It's amazing how a single iPhone application can change your life. Okay, not change your life, but allow you to do something you either never thought possible o...

Greatest Actor of His Generation

Everyone can appreciate R. Kelly's magnum opus Trapped in the Closet, but it's this little piece of theater that I think cements him as the greatest actor of hi...
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Celeb Sighting 8: Steve Schirripa

As if there were something worse than getting wacked in a toy choo-choo train store, now Bobby Bacala has to be ogled in a Starbucks by the likes of me. On an i...
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Best Purchase Ever

What with the current cold snap here in the Northeast, it's time to get the damn winter coat out of the closet. This is always the time of year that I ask mysel...
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Ogunquit, ME

For some reason everyone to a person asked me if I was going to get Johnny cakes whilst up in Maine. I took me a second to realize that they were referring to t...
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Montclair: Hipster Central

I've heard it called the "Upper West Side of New Jersey," but now Mr. Hipster calls it home. This doesn't mean I'm going to start Mr. Hipster West, or any nonse...
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Booze Experimentation

So I decided to be a smartass and order a Makers Mark Manhattanat Dylan Prime. I love the city, after all, so how bad can the drink be? As it turns out, it can ...
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The Danger of Googling

Apparently I'm a gun-toting wife-beater. So says the state of Missouri in this court docket. Okay obviously this is a different Michael Fayne, but I got to t...
Halo

Halo

No, I'm not twelve. No, I'm not interminably geeky. I'm merely a red-blooded American male who loves to shoot the shit out of aliens. Granted, I'm about two yea...
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Slow Jams

I've been searching for years, and I've finally found my least favorite kind of music (and mind you, there's death metal and German industrial music out there)....
David Cameron

Look Kids, Parliament!

Okay, I'm a complete geek, but I was watching C-SPAN a couple weeks ago--well, I was flipping by C-SPAN a couple weeks ago (I'm not that geeky), and I ran acros...
Cat Lady Blogger

The Blogger Bash

Don't ask me why, but I went incognito to The 14th Annual Big Apple Blogger Bash last night. Well, incognito in the sense that everyone else had nametags and I ...
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The Boulevard of Porn & Trinkets

I like to call it The Boulevard of Porn and Trinkets. The urine-soaked man in the wool pants belted with a rope calls it home. The Guardian Angels are headquart...
Fat Joe

City Kids

When I was a kid I ran everywhere. I had boundless energy. I couldn't stand being inside, and when I was I ran around the house pretending to be a running back,...
Suburban Cop

Suburban Cops

So I'm driving through Clifton, New Jersey the other day when I come to a stoplight. I'm behind some punk in a Honda, who I'm sure is a horrible driver--as are ...
NY State Department of Labor

Unemployment

So I finally pulled the plug on any expectation that I'll find a job in the near future. I bit the bullet and signed up for unemployment. I've gone on the dole....
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The Tide Train

To some the subway is an ugly place. To me, it looks like a giant, orange advertisement. I especially like when they wash down the seats with grease....
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Odd Finds: Jesus the Moneylender

Dictionary.com (the ultimate resource for all things word-like) defines "panderer" as: a person who caters to or profits from the weaknesses or vices of others....