Lower East Side

The Whiskey Ward

The Whiskey Ward

A pool table, a jukebox and good beer on tap. It’s like the best opening line ever written (if I do say so myself). This…

Tenement

Tenement

[CLOSED] The name of this joint certainly doesn’t inspire confidence. It brings about visions of supping at a card table in a dirty, narrow hallway…

Tapeo29

Tapeo29

His inspirational story of overcoming a crack addiction to become one of 1995’s best selling artists, complete with a starring turn in a music video…

Sweet Paradise Lounge

[CLOSED] It’s kind of like going to drink in Harry Potter’s storage closet under the stairs. Yeah, that’s an accurate description. Now, never having read…

Suba

Suba

[CLOSED] Generally eating dinner in a dungeon would be an unpleasant experience. You have the rats and the dripping water and the whole screams-of-agony thing…

Stanton Public

Stanton Public

[CLOSED] How often do you go to a bar where the bartender could confuse one one-legged man loitering outside for another? It so happened that…

Spitzer's Corner

Spitzer’s Corner

This joint is like a dream–a dream in which you have to wait an hour for a table, but a dream nonetheless. Stocked with more…

Spill

[CLOSED] The only thing this place succeeded in doing was making me want to ”spill” my dinner all over their deserted floor (wah wah). It’s…

The Slipper Room

The Slipper Room

Have you ever walked into a party and realized you were in the wrong place? You know, that feeling that everyone knows each other. You…

The Skinny

The SKINny

I love when bars try to fit in the name of the city they’re in into the name of the joint. Okay, it’s fuckin’ retarded,…

The Sixth Ward

The Sixth Ward

[CLOSED] This, it turned out, was one of those time-killing situations that present themselves when the second of your two-person party is tied up at…

Rivertown Lounge

Rivertown Lounge

[CLOSED] This lounge is a bit of an anomaly. Surrounded by trendy bars packed with models, tiny dives filled with polyester kids (whose idea of…

Parkside Lounge

Parkside Lounge

I’m not certain when in its lifecycle a bar officially becomes a dive. I mean built as new establishments none aspire to dive status do…

Orchard Bar

Orchard Bar

[CLOSED] is now: 200 Orchard We don’t know what it is, but this is one of those places where you are convinced that the bouncer…

Motor City Bar

Motor City Bar

[CLOSED] I could just as soon fix a space shuttle as I could an automobile. Lifting the hood of my car does nothing but point…

Mercury Lounge

Mercury Lounge

Somehow I’d never seen a show here in all my time in NYC. I’ve also never been to CBGB’s, but my time for that is…

Max Fish

Max Fish

[CLOSED at this location] If there is a place with Mr. Hipster written all over it, it’s this serious den of unpretentious pretension. All tatts…

Marshall Stack

Marshall Stack

I read the name of this place and thought it was gonna be rock ‘n’ roll heaven. Like Vazac’s but with music that I might…

The Magician

The Magician

Poof! You’re a sucky bar. We’re honestly not really sure what’s going on here. This place feels so oddly cold and empty that you’d figure…

Ludlow Bar

Ludlow Bar

[CLOSED] Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Where did the guys with the spinners and the women with the nameplates come from? It’s…