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Running With Scissors

by mr. hipster June 1, 2004
June 1, 2004
Running With Scissors
81
Running With Scissors
Genre: Memoir
Author: Augusten Burroughs
Publication Year: 2002
Length: 304 pages

The fact that a real human being actually went through all of this and survived is hard to believe. He didn’t fight in a war or battle a disease–he only grew up in what must be one of the most dysfunctional extended families ever in the history of families. I still have a hard time believing most of this stuff is true, and doubt that a lot of it is, but it certainly is entertaining nonetheless. Raised by an unfeeling father and a mother that ate ceiling plaster when she was feeling it, Burroughs was essentially given away to his mom’s psychiatrist, who was just as insane as his biological parent. Living with the psychiatrist and his family, Burroughs was surrounded by craziness, dropped out of school and basically checked out of normality. He dreamed of growing up to own a hair empire like Paul Mitchell (or whoever the popular hair guy was in the 70’s), but he seemed to have no talent for the biz. Luckily for him, he wrote down every ridiculous thing that happened to him and turned the experience into a bestseller. Going into what actually happened to him would ruin a lot of the great moments in the book, but after hearing what he went through, it’s going to be difficult to listen to you girlfriend complain about her mom not letting her get her ears pierced when she was fifteen and how she’s really fucked up because of it. He manages to get through the whole story without feeling sorry for himself or making himself into a hero for surviving his ordeal. Despite the subject matter, the book reads like a comedy and has some genuinely funny moments. The household he’s moved into is so outrageous at times that you forget you’re reading a memoir and feel like you’re in a demented version of The Royal Tenenbaums. It’s things like this that make me want to send a Hallmark to my parents and let them know what a great job they did by not abandoning me to live with a household full of kooks.

2002Augusten BurroughsMemoir
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Adam Haslett Adam Langer Adrienne Miller Annie Proulx Antti Tuomainen Arundhati Roy Augusten Burroughs Austin Grossman Ben Mezrich Bernard Malamud Blake Crouch Charles Bukowski Charlie Huston Chris Ware Chuck Kinder Chuck Palahniuk Claire North Colson Whitehead Cormac McCarthy Daniel Wallace Dara Horn Dave Eggers David B. David Foster Wallace David Mitchell David Sedaris David Wong DBC Pierre Don DeLillo Drew Magary E.L. Doctorow Edward Ashton Elie Wiesel Elliot Perlman Elmore Leonard Emily St. John Mandel Eric Garcia Erik Larson Ethan Brown Ethan Canin Gary Shteyngart Glen David Gold Harlan Ellison Haruki Murakami Henry Roth Hernan Diaz Ian McEwan Indra Sinha Italo Calvino J.M. Coetzee James Chapman James Crumley James Ellroy James Frey Jane Harper Jean Hanff Korelitz Jennifer Egan Jhumpa Lahiri Jim Crace Jim Knipfel John Banville John Kennedy Toole John Updike Jonathan Ames Jonathan Franzen Jonathan Lethem Jonathan Safran Foer Jon McGregor Josh Aiello Joshua Ferris José Saramago Junot Díaz Karen Joy Fowler Kazuo Ishiguro Kem Nunn Kevin Baker Kiran Desai Malcolm Lowry Marc Spitz Mark Costello Mark Haddon Mark Helprin Mark Z. Danielewski Martin Amis Matthew Kneale Max Beerbohm Michael Chabon Michael Cunningham Michel Faber Mike Schneider Nathan Englander Nathan Hill Neil Gaiman Newton Thornburg Nicholson Baker Nick Fowler Nick Hornby Nicole Krauss Noah Hawley Norman Mailer Olga Tokarczuk Ottessa Moshfegh Patrick Hamilton Patrick Hoffman Paul Auster Paul Beatty Paul Harding Peter Carey Philip K. Dick Philip Roth Rachel Kushner Richard Ford Richard Powers Richard Russo Rick Moody Rivka Galchen Robert A. Heinlein Roberto Bolaño Rohinton Mistry Ron Currie S.A. Cosby Salman Rushdie Sam Harris Saul Bellow Sean Wilsey Steph Cha Stephen D. Levitt Stephen J. Dubner Stephen King Steve Erickson Steven Hall Susanna Clarke Tao Lin Theodore Roszak Thomas Pynchon Tim O'Brien Tobias Wolff Toby Young Tom De Haven Téa Obreht Victor Pelevin Viet Thanh Nguyen Walker Percy William Gibson Will Self Yann Martel Yoko Ogawa Zadie Smith

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      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Falafel Hut

      July 12, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      McDonald’s (West Village)

      July 10, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Falafel Hut

      July 12, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary