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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

by mr. hipster November 25, 2023
November 25, 2023
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem
63
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem
Genre: Superhero
Director: Jeff Rowe
Release Year: 2023
Runtime: 1h 39min

I have absolutely no connection to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was too old when it became a thing, and I honestly had no interest in comic books or mutant turtles who love pizza. Funny enough, I owned actual turtles. Actually, Hipster Dad owned them, but they lived in our house. A western pond turtle and some sort of softshell turtle, to be exact-ish. They didn’t eat pizza. Mostly they ate dry stick things and frozen beef heart. They were supposed to eat these feeder goldfish too, though they didn’t. So we ended up with giant carp that we had to remove from their tank in order to house their giganticness. Our turtles did not wield nunchucks or katanas. Though if they had, those goldfish probably wouldn’t have stood a chance. They didn’t skate. And they especially didn’t talk. Which, in retrospect, would have been cool.

Despite my somewhat lackluster experience with the world of testudines, others have an absolute batshit crazy love for these bro-ey reptiles. At least that’s my understanding from the number of articles worrying that the world would come to an end if Seth Rogen fucked up this franchise reboot. Or whatever this rolling series of comics, cartoons, live-action films and toys can be considered. So, frankly, it was less the story and the history of TMNT that intrigued me and more the glimpses of the interesting animation style. It looked like a combination of rotoscope, teenaged notebook sketches and some artistic Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse touches. That and I’ll look for anything to watch with Hipster Jr. Jr. Not that I thought she’d become a TMNT acolyte after this filmic experience, but, hey, at least it’s not Marvel. Or an awful Korean k-drama.

It’s interesting to see Rogen apply what is usually his adult, stoner humor to what is ostensibly a kids’ movie. His usual sophomoric, arrested development approach to grown-ups lends itself well to this setup. You know, where the main characters are teens. And teens who are fish out of water. Or turtles out of water. Or basically sheltered kids experiencing the world for the very first time. With an adoptive father who is a mutant, ninjutsu rat (Jackie Chan). They live in the sewer away from human society until, that is, boys be boys and curiosity gets the best of them. After all, what teen boy can resist pizza and shit? Also a teen thing? Understanding their origin story and then either embracing or rejecting it. Because that story helps explain an important piece of your identity. The boys discover their origins and it gets them in with the wrong gang of weirdo mutants, including our movie’s bad guy, Superfly (Ice Cube). There’s all sorts of corporate espionage and environmental degradation and stuff that I won’t go into. But suffice it to say that there’s tension between the past, identity, family and responsibility. And a lesson in all of it.

Honestly the best decision here was to cast actual teenagers as the turtles. And apparently do the voiceovers with the actors all in one room. There’s just an energy with teens — especially in a group — that can’t be captured alone in a booth. Or by adults trying to remember what it was like hanging out with their teenaged buddies. It comes across in the performances and gives an authenticity to the humor that might otherwise feel forced or not quite right. Honestly, the plot about the lab and the mutant experiment and all that stuff was necessary for the TMNT backstory, but was otherwise a little confusing and relatively unnecessary. Well, not unnecessary, as it plays into the same backstory as our bad guys, but it definitely felt like it could have done with some trimming and/or an outsider’s script p.o.v. Otherwise, the film is clever, moves along quickly and looks very cool. Which was my hope going in. I can’t say I’m a turtle convert per se, but I’ll stream volume two when it comes out. I don’t know if the same boys will star, or if they’ll get the sheer number of celeb cameos in the next one, but I’m sure Rogen and company will come up with something fresh and funny to throw up there on the screen.

2023Action ComedyAyo EdebiriBrady NoonGiancarlo EspositoHannibal BuressIce CubeJackie ChanJeff RoweJohn CenaKyler SpearsMaya RudolphMicah AbbeyNatasia DemetriouNicolas CantuPaul RuddRose ByrneSeth RogenShamon Brown Jr.Superhero
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      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary