Fast Food

Taco Bell Penn Plaza

Taco Bell (Penn Station)

You'd have to be crazy or completely desperate to end up eating here. Combining boil-in-a-bag meat and the shitshow that is Penn Station is enough to make the r...
Ranch 1 Midtown East

Ranch 1 (Midtown East)

My god I used to eat a lot of Ranch 1. Way back in the day, I used to eat the chicken sandwiches and fries and just lap up the grease. And then my metabolis...
Ranch 1 Times Square II

Ranch 1 (Times Square II)

The once mighty chicken chain has been relegated to utter sadness. This particular franchise is literally stuck in the back of a bodega. I kid you not. One ...
Chicken Bar

Chicken Bar (Midtown West)

One of the biggest mysteries in the grand pantheon of the Manhattan culinary history is the untimely and swift collapse of the Ranch 1 chain of restaurants. You...
McDonald's Union Square

McDonald’s (Union Square)

Look, I'm not really going to waste your time here. If you haven't been to a McDonald's, then you're either a tree hugging, dirty hippy who should be dragged be...
McDonad's Rockefeller Center

McDonald’s (Rockefeller Center)

Eating any kind of fast food outside of road trips or hung-over weekends is generally verboten amongst me and my higher functioning organs. That all goes ou...
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McDonald’s (Spanish Harlem)

I must admit that this is not a 'hood in which Mr. Hipster normally hangs out. As it turns out, Ms. Hipster wanted nothing more than a fried burger after givi...
KFC Midtown West

KFC (Midtown West)

To think that a large section of America thinks of this shit as food is an insult to food. To think that Kentucky Fried Chicken could fool every stupid American...
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Kenny Rogers Roasters Express

Calling this a separate restaurant is kind of misleading. It's technically a Kenny Rogers Roasters Express, which is contained within a Nathan's Famous, whi...
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Ranch 1 (Midtown West)

The crown jewel of the Ranch 1 franchise, this location--right next to Letterman's Late Show--is front and center to the throngs of curious tourists and mar...
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Wok & Roll

Straight from the malls of middle America and into your home comes Wok & Roll. This food court staple is Chinese food for areas that don't have any Chin...
Nathan's Famous Times Square

Nathan’s Famous (Times Square)

It left me wondering after eating here what it is exactly Nathan is famous for. I don't think a bad chicken Philly sandwich is something that would make one...
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Gray’s Papaya (Upper West Side)

Would you like sweat with that? Yeah, you're probably better off only eating at this joint if you're shit-ass drunk. Watching those poor guys cook hotdogs in th...
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Roy Rogers (Midtown West)

Horrendous doesn't even begin to describe the food they serve up at this so-called restaurant. Flaccid fries, tasteless frozen chicken and green, watery roa...
McDonald's Greenwich Village

McDonald’s (Greenwich Village)

Drunk or sober, this McDonald's has a special place in my heart. Back when I was in my early twenties and had a love affair with awful NYU bars like Down the Ha...
McDonald's Times Square

McDonald’s (Theater District)

Long lines of grumpy midtowners. That smell of frying that can only be McDonald's. We're not sure what else you would expect from this giant of the fast food in...
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McDonald’s (NoHo)

This is thee place to come if you're in the NoHo/SoHo area and need to pee. Not only do they have a one-person toilet upstairs, but the super-secret restroom do...
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Yoshinoya

Now the Japanese are sending us their fast food crap. Yes, this is the McDonald's of the land of the rising sun. Using all the techniques that made over 56 ...