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Hanna

by mr. hipster February 8, 2012
February 8, 2012
Hanna
70
Hanna
Genre: Action Thriller
Director: Joe Wright
Release Year: 2011
Runtime: 1h 51min

It’s clear right out of the gate that this ain’t going to be your typical, slick Hollywood shoot ’em up. The bizarre ‘Hanna’ graphic used in the title sequence alone screams of some French film like The Professional or La Femme Nikita (both coincidently Luc Besson movies remade in English.) Whatever it was, be it the thumping Chemical Brothers soundtrack, or the weirdly unslick title sequence, it just felt very un-American right out of the gate. That, along with the fact there wasn’t a single American actor in the thing (despite the main character supposedly being pursued by the CIA) and the locations being very obviously European lent an off-kilter feel to the whole thing. And, as I’ve stated in other reviews, Americans just don’t seem to dig movies that take place wholly in other countries (unless Matt Damon is in them). I’m not certain if this just general American ethnocentrism at work, or if they just feel the need to recognize something familiar to get their bearings.

Quickly on the plot: there’s this girl who, in a plot device that seems as old as the industry itself, is some sort of bred-from-birth super-soldier and is being raised in the woods of Finland by Eric Bana, who is a German ex-CIA dude (wha?) bent on revenge and training said girl, Hanna (Saoirse Ronan), to basically be an assassin to kill a woman with whom he used to work and on whom he wants to take said revenge. Whew. She’s never used a computer, apparently never heard music and spends her days playing sword fight with sticks and shooting elk for meat. She is finally given the low-down on why she’s been raised in the woods all these years and that it’s her choice when to start the process of going to kill this woman. She opts to pretty much start right away, and zaniness ensues. Throughout these first scenes we realize a couple things. Eric Bana can’t do a German accent and pretty much sucks balls as an actor. I mean he doesn’t literally suck balls, but if bad acting were balls, he would suck ’em. And Saoirse, who was awesome in The Lovely Bones, and I vaguely remember being pretty good in Atonement, is going to be a big, f’ing star. The girl is hard to keep your eyes off of. And her feral performance is every bit as convincing as Bana’s isn’t.

So the chick Hanna is supposed to kill is Cate Blanchett. She’s apparently a CIA person who started the super-soldier program of which Hanna was a part, but ended the thing and then decided to eliminate the participants. She’s supposed to be Southern, I think. Like American Southern. But she sounds more like an Australian with a speech impediment (which I guess makes sense, her being an Aussie and all). It’s seriously distracting just how bad she is. How just unsubtle and witchy she is in the role. There’s something about her face that just makes her whole person seem like it’s overacting. It’s surprisingly terrible — and, honestly, unbelievable.

So what you end up with is a kind of cool looking road film, with Hanna working her way back to her father after leaving Finland, being detained, breaking out and then making friends with a traveling Brit family. And, of course, doing the fish out of water thing, discovering electricity and beds and computers and make-up and boys and on and on. Though, the script seems to forget this fact at points, as she uses computers despite being confounded by music and a ceiling fan. But not cars and stuff? Just one of those deep inconsistencies that seems like something they’d be pretty diligent about given the big set up at the beginning of the film about her isolation from society her entire life.

Overall there are some cool scenes, and Ms. Ronan gives a really decent performance — including some impressive physical stuff — but there’s something rehashed-feeling about the whole plot, and the characters outside of Hanna are over-the-top and completely flat. Of course I have a habit of turning on films I’ve already seen to have them on in the background mainly based on one aspect I might like. In this case the main actress is compelling enough to warrant this, but if you’re planning to put aside a night on the couch specifically to watch this film, you may want to put it aside until you have some laundry to fold, basket weaving to do or maybe a really large scab to pick, so you have something else to hold your attention for an hour-fifty beside this thing.

2011Action ThrillerCate BlanchettEric BanaJessica BardenJoe WrightSaoirse RonanSebastian HülkVicky Krieps
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      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary