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Emergence

by mr. hipster February 3, 2020
February 3, 2020
Emergence Season One
66
Emergence Season One
Genre: Sci-Fi Mystery
Network: ABC
Series Year: 2020
Watch: N/A

The things we do for love. Like watching an ABC series about a robot girl and her desire to be real. And, yes, Emergence is not much more than a sci-fi version of Pinocchio, but let’s not let that stop us from making fun of it mercilessly. Just don’t let Hipster Jr. Jr. know, or she’ll be hurt that I’m belittling something that we got to bond over once a week for an hour or so. You know, before she went back to watching endless YouTube videos about Minecraft or Grand Theft Auto or whatever I, as a terrible parent, am not monitoring on her phone.

Ok, to be fair, I’m the one who originally brought this up as a possibility for a watch with Hipster Jr. Jr., whom I believe is technically a tween. After all, it’s on a major network, so there’s very little chance of blood orgies or graphic mass slaughter. Turns out I was totally right on that front. And then there was the sci-fi mystery angle, which I figured might be survivable. I mean, I knew it would devolve into Small Wonder at some juncture, but figured maybe there’d be a driver there that would keep me not bored to death with network milquetoastiness.

The series starts off in a semi-promising way. A mysterious plane crash on Long Island reveals a lone survivor: a young girl. Our protagonist, Jo Evans (Allison Tolman), police chief of a fictional L.I. town takes custody of the girl and brings her home. I’m not at all certain this is how this works, but in this show very little in terms of logic, law, science or time and space matters. Regardless, the girl has no memory of anything, but it’s clear to us that there’s something weird about her. You know, besides walking away from a deadly plane crash with not a scratch on her. You’re thinking alien, right? Well, that’s where my mind went too. But, no, she’s not an alien. She’s a robot. And this is why from episode one on, Hipster Jr. Jr. and I referred to this as The Robot Girl Show. And that was fine because we all knew what we were talking about.

Anyhow, there’s a lot of convoluted stuff that happens around the robot’s original creator, original programmer and original corporate owner that puts her in jeopardy. And the whole time Jo shows that she’s a terrible cop, not a great boss and a pretty terrible mother to her actual teenaged daughter. Not to mention the obvious reason that her marriage to Alex (Donald Faison) has ended. That said, she does seem “real.” Not a real cop, mind you, but a real person. I suppose that’s kind of Tolman’s brand, and she’s good at it. Faison as her ex gives a little levity to the show that always seems fraught. But, again, that’s kind of his brand as well. I can’t say the two of them have incredible amounts of chemistry, but they are the two best actors in a show that is a little shaky when it comes to the whole acting thing.

Anyway, the robot has some powers. It’s not entirely clear what they are, but they involve some sort of telekinesis and maybe some power transference of some sort. Because she’s clearly special, there is a whole cabal of people trying to capture her. Corporate people, evil people, government people. And then just some shady people who may or may not be robots themselves. It becomes a little clearer as the series goes on, but it takes a while to figure out what the deal is. Meanwhile we see Jo get all motherly over this girl who is made of circuits and a complicated AI. Again, putting herself and her flesh-and-blood family in harm’s way to protect her. A really, really weird choice when you think about it. And it’s not as if a few episodes in she doesn’t know this seemingly human girl is just a piece of hardware and software. Honestly, it makes her character seem kinda nuts and irresponsible.

So, what makes this an ABC show instead of, say, an FX show? Writing and plotting. The two are married, obviously, but when you’re writing a relatively complicated sci-fi show, you need to have your plotting tight. This is not what happens here. Human characters seemingly teleport from place to place. Time almost has less meaning on this show than it does on Parks and Rec, which had absolutely no regard for how time works. Thing is, this not a sitcom, so the plot actually matters. And time matters. Having your characters just appear places five minutes after they talk about that place (when that place is theoretically far away and/or inaccessible) is not a good look. Having a group of characters lost in a meandering complex be saved by another group that just shows up and immediately walks right up to them (not thanks to the robot) is just laziness. That’s a plot hole. That’s the writers just assuming the people watching ABC won’t notice these shortcuts. This bending of time and space and credulity. But they have me. An asshole who tears apart stuff like this for a hobby.

The thing is, I know they know. I know they know that people carry mobile phones. That when they’re trapped somewhere, at least one of them might be carrying a phone in his pocket. But this show just pretends phones don’t exist if it’s inconvenient for the plot. Literally, at several points our protagonists are in some place that a simple phone call would solve, but nobody seems to have their phone on them. I know phones exist in this universe. They use them all the time. Except when they’d be useful, but would solve their predicament too easily.

They also put this dangerous glowing orb thing in what looks like a drink cooler just sitting out on the deck of a boat unlocked. Not at all realistic. Neither is any of the science in the show. They yada-yada the hell out of everything. Because apparently people who watch ABC don’t give a shit about anything. It’s a little infuriating. Even Hipster Jr. Jr. rolled her eyes a few times at the coincidences and rule realignment as the series went along. We have shape-shifting nanobots now!? And Faison is still into his ex-wife, Tolman? And they sort of maybe sleep together, but it’s completely unclear because maybe the network censors got ahold of it and edited something out? But Tolman then gets this weird, out-of-the-blue romance with some other dude? After it seemed like maybe she liked this other guy? She seems to have or almost have a close call with every man on the show save her dad played by Clancy Brown. Which I suppose it a good thing. Because, again, this isn’t an HBO show.

I remember now why I don’t watch a whole lot of network television. This one has a decent lead actress and, in theory, a decent premise. But the execution is cheesy and the writing way too on-the-nose, but also vague. They’re afraid to challenge their audience a little. They’re afraid to give it too much of an edge. And it’s not as through they won’t kill people and/or show some violence, but the stakes and the growl in the script is just not there. And the acting is always verging on after school special or multi-camera sitcom. It’s broad and just kind of flat. And, look, we’ll watch season two if there is one because I love to spend any time I can with Hipster Jr. Jr., even if it’s watching a robot girl run around in a world that makes very little sense and is a toothless old-person’s idea of what an edgy show should be.

2020ABCAlexa SwintonAllison TolmanAshley AufderheideClancy BrownDonald FaisonMaria DizziaOwain YeomanRobert Bailey Jr.Sci-Fi MysteryTerry O'QuinnZabryna Guevara
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      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary