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Hit Man

by mr. hipster June 19, 2024
June 19, 2024
Hit Man
75
Hit Man
Genre: Action Comedy
Director: Richard Linklater
Release Year: 2023
Runtime: 1h 57m

Honestly, what are we doing here? People actually liked this movie? I’m starting to think my brain is broken. Perhaps broken by the high quality of television over the past decade. Or my expectations. But this? This is not a good film. It’s not a good movie. It’s half-assed and silly. It’s tossed-off and unserious. It feels like something someone did on a whim. Maybe as a favor to fulfill a contract or make Glen Powell feel good that he could write a screenplay. I’ve never been a Richard Linklater guy, if I’m being real. I don’t love meandering, slice-of-life narratives. They feel lazy. Just like this movie. And, maybe, just maybe, I just don’t like movies anymore.

The thing is, this isn’t a slice-of-life film. It’s kind-of, sort-of high concept in its own way. Or at least it depends on some consistency and a script that follows an arc. But even though Hit Man is based on a true story (some parts more than others), it feels like a bad version of an Elmore Leonard novel. Like a dumbed-down, carbon copy of a carbon copy of Out of Sight. The story of how a mild-mannered college professor (who, by the way, looks like movie star, Glen Powell with glasses and a side part a la Clark Kent) goes from meek loner to man-of-action fake hitman in what seems like two minutes flat. Do we explore how that happens? Nope. Do the writers of this thing seem to care? Absolutely not. Is it weird there are so many murders for hire in this city? Yes. They get the whole psychology of this divorced, passive wimp and his sudden transformation of super-confident sex machine cool guy wrapped up in a couple quips and we’re off. Which is weird, since his growth is seemingly at the heart of things. Shrug.

The only thing I can imagine is that they looked at Powell and his co-star, Adria Arjona — both of whom are charismatic and magnetic on screen — and figured, “Fuck it, we’ll just kind of throw them up there, have them roll around having some relatively chaste sex scenes and people will eat it up. Plot and effort be damned.” And, both Powell and Arjona are indeed the only good parts of this thing. As actors. The plot is negligible. Sorry, the execution of the plot is negligible. It takes your generic film noir setup and just overlays this rickety true story on top of it. Again, it seems as if the screenplay has very little interest in making this different or interesting in any way. They didn’t lean into the femme fatale or the tension of a relationship where one member is lying to further their interest. Ands then… And then they just totally fudge the ending, throwing in a thing that totally didn’t happen in this “true story.” And then have the balls to put a “just kidding!” card on screen. Right, thanks for wasting my time.

And, look, if they wanted to make a romantic comedy, make a romantic comedy. That’s fine. Because that’s essentially what this thing is. Minus the comedy. Or at least the laughs. It’s just unclear what they were going for here. Although the bones do suggest the rom-com, but just not a great one. Because I’m not sure Linklater is into that kind of thing. In fact, looking at his oeuvre, it’s unclear what exactly it is he’s into. People revere him for Dazed and Confused and the “Before” trilogy. But the rest of his filmography is generally of fine to mixed-to-poor quality. So lets not put all of the cheesiness of the professorial lesson wrapper of the film — did I mention Powell’s character summarizes the moral of the story to his class in the form a lesson? — on Powell. Linklater isn’t perfect. And perhaps he was backed into a corner by the construct of this way-traditional movie. Not just people wandering around talking to other people, but an actual three-act structure. Not his wheelhouse.

Does Powell have a strong future? Of course. Is Arjona absolutely adorable and will definitely go on to be in something better? Indeed. Do I ever need to see another made-for-Netflix movie written by Powell? Or made by Linklater? I do not. Not if this kind of half-baked movie is going to be the result. There was a kernel of something here, but if we end up with more The Master of Disguise or The Love Guru and less Double Indemnity, I have other things I could be spending my time doing.

2023Action ComedyAdria ArjonaAustin AmelioGlen PowellRettaRichard LinklaterRomantic Comedy
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      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary