Wolfs

If ever there was a test run for an AI-generated movie, this was it. Hey AI, give me a film starring two of Gen-X’s most bankable male stars (despite being Boomers), directed by that guy who did those Fatboy Slim music videos and the Spider-Man movies and have them adversarially crack wise while splashing their proven Ocean’s Eleven-type loose charisma all over another action crime comedy. Formula meet function. And the algorithm. It would feel cynical if it weren’t so much my shit. Which I imagine means Apple TV+ thought it would also be an attractive offer to males between the ages of 40 – 60 and females of every age 25+. Because who doesn’t love what amounts to a Brad Pitt / George Clooney rom-com? Just, you know, without the lady friend.

Again, on paper this had all the hallmarks of a banger. What would have been — back in the old movie economy — a pretty solid box office tour de force. In fact, the Internet tells me there was a bidding war for this film, what with its two bankable stars and a hot director attached. But, then, after a very limited theatrical run, it was released on the Apple TV+ streaming service. The most low-key of all streaming services. To the point where you wonder if they don’t run the whole division as a loss leader to continue to sell iPhones and laptops. Which doesn’t make any sense, but is also the only explanation as to their disinterest in promoting any of their TV properties. Especially one this high profile. In fact, writer/director, Jon Watts, was so underwhelmed by Apple’s decision to shift this film’s run away from traditional and to streaming that he canceled a planned sequel before it even got going. Apple has a potential second Ocean’s franchise on their hands, but was like, “Eh, we sell a couple million more iPhones and we’re good.”

The weird business end of this thing aside, the film itself is a fun little romp that relies heavily on the magnetism of its two leads and the clear connection between them. The plot is relatively simple: A middle-aged NYC District Attorney (Amy Ryan) brings a young man back to her hotel room, where he promptly falls, hits his head and dies. She calls a phone number she’d been given to bring in a mysterious fixer (George Clooney) to clean up the situation. He shows up, quickly assesses the mess and begins his routine. But just as he gets started, a second fixer (Brad Pitt), hired by the shadowy owner of the fancy hotel, walks into the room. Let the dick measuring contest begin. Clooney is the old dog, Pitt is the young(er) hotshot. Which is kind of a funny inside joke considering Clooney is 63 and Pitt is 61. Neither is young, and neither is as cool as they think they are. But each has his own “fixer” style and both, because of their clients, has a stake in making sure this is handled quietly and confidently. So, in the most traditional comedic tension plot device ever, you set up adversaries or opposites who are forced to work together to achieve a singular goal. Yes, it’s Trains, Planes & Automobiles. It’s Midnight Run. It harkens back to the Cary Grant screwball stuff from the 1940s, like His Girl Friday. In other words, it’s a tried and true formula that has worked for almost the entire lifespan of filmic history. So why not run it back?

But now that we have the setup, we have to see how the two adversaries respond to the challenge and one another. And, yes, the other thing that is always thrown in is the big twist or discovery that bonds the two initial enemies with one another. In this case, the “dead” victim (Austin Abrams) is carrying a copious amount of drugs that he was most definitely holding for someone they don’t want to get entangled with. A surprise that has to be taken care of in addition to covering up the kid’s death. But before they can return the drugs to their rightful owner, the “dead” victim removes the quotes and proved himself to be very much still alive. Adding to their headache and creating a synergizing event to make them work together in earnest. It’s honestly a further twist of genius in the formula, adding Abrams’ incredible youthful, almost childlike energy to reflect back on these two men to make it further obvious they are… old. And definitely not as cool as they thing they are.

There are several fun action scenes, lots of shootouts and general screwy situations that are funny and entertaining in an old-fashioned action comedy kind of way. The film takes place almost entirely at night in and around NYC and features a really limited cast — mostly our two leads, Abrams and a third party who acts as the audience avatar to basically point out that maybe Clooney and Pitt should just kiss and get it over with. Or to shoot at them. I certainly don’t see this being anyone’s favorite movie of 2024. Nor even make their top ten lists. But as as far as fast entertainment (in the vein of fast fashion) it certainly hits the spot. I would have definitely dialed up the sequel, as I enjoyed watching these two professionals yuck it up and balance their egos. I’m not sure how that would have been sustainable from a budget standpoint — especially sticking it on streaming with little-to-no promotion — but my job isn’t to untangle Apple’s balance sheet. I say throw more money at big stars and big directors and let them cook. It was 100 minutes I don’t regret spending with them. And perhaps that’s all we’re aiming for in this day and age.