American

Zipper Factory

Zipper Tavern

[CLOSED] For some completely unknown reason this place reminds me of an old timey saloon. There is absolutely no reason why that should be, of…

Westside Brewing Company

Westside Brewing Company

[CLOSED] Welcome to all the blah the UWS has to offer. It’s no wonder this neighborhood has garnered a vanilla image and squeaky-clean, prepster attitude….

Vynl

Vynl

[CLOSED] Yes, it may sound like an S&M club in the meat packing district, but names can be deceiving. (Like, who could have imagined The…

Victory Cafe

Victory Cafe

[CLOSED] “Victory is a loser” is the frequent comment received for this upper east American bruncher, where eggs are served “hot off the floor” and…

Spitzer's Corner

Spitzer’s Corner

This joint is like a dream–a dream in which you have to wait an hour for a table, but a dream nonetheless. Stocked with more…

SoHo Kitchen & Bar

[CLOSED] Ok, so the food is nothing to write home about, and the art on the walls looks like something out of a psychotic gym…

Seaport Cafe

[CLOSED] Calling this place a cafe is like calling a shit sandwich a meal. I believe they actually have a grilled shit sandwich on the…

Park Avenue Country Club

Park Avenue Country Club

[CLOSED] Don’t let them fool you — there is nothing country, nor anything clubbish about the Park Ave. Country Club. Don’t bother calling for reservations…

Panorama Cafe

Panorama Cafe

[CLOSED] Hello, I’m Eurotrash, party of six. Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be another annoying subspecies of freaks on the UES, we find…

Opal

Opal

[CLOSED] Have you ever had the feeling you’ve been somewhere before, despite the fact you know you’ve never even seen the place? So goes the…

Metropolitan Cafe

Metropolitan Cafe

[CLOSED] This is one of those kinds of places where you could take your visiting parents, pick up the check and everyone will be happy….

Merchants NY – West

Merchants NY – West

[CLOSED] When places like this start getting mass-produced we know the apocalypse is upon us. We’re not saying it’s impossible to have a decent time…

Martell’s Restaurant

Martell’s Restaurant

[CLOSED] Sometimes you wish for something original. You ain’t going to find it here. Martell’s falls into the “bar and grill” mold, which are always…

Market Cafe

Market Cafe

[CLOSED] This place has cornered the market on the area’s casual business lunch dollar. I mean you could hit up the bodega, the grimy Pakistani…

Mad River Bar and Grill

Mad River Bar and Grill

Another cookie-cutter UES bar and grill, with dark wood, a brass rail below the long bar and front windows that open in summer. Mad River?…

Life Cafe

Life Cafe

[CLOSED] Yet another in a long line of kitchy, vaguely 50’s cafes that dot the East and West Villages. Really, how many of these places…

Leshko’s

Leshko’s

[CLOSED] Some say it’s as fun as throwing rocks at baby rabbits. Others compare it to salting slugs and poking them with sticks. We prefer…

Hunters

Hunters

[CLOSED] We can only assume this joint is supposed to resemble a hunting lodge or something, but instead it reminds us more of a geriatric,…