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Murmurs

by mr. hipster June 5, 2020
June 5, 2020
Murmurs
69
Murmurs
Genre: Scripted Fiction
Network: BBC Sounds
Podcast Year: 2020
Listen: Spotify / Apple Podcast

So, when you’re planning a podcast — which is, without a doubt, an auditory medium — wouldn’t it make sense to not create sounds that are excruciatingly horrible to listen to? Not in like a 2020 Coldplay kind of way, but literally thinking about what would be coming into the earholes of your listening audience and trying not to deafen them or cause distress to their eardrums? Well, it seems the Brits behind Murmurs didn’t really consider that.

And, look, I am admittedly noise sensitive. Listening to people chewing makes my brain angry. Loud-ass, non-repetitive noises that I have no control over makes me want to hide in a hole. So I’m not probably the target audience for this. This ten-part series that involves probably one thousand clips of a British phone ring tone. The same phone ring tone. I’m no expert on telephonic technology, but I think this is the sound of a British landline and not a mobile phone, which is weird in and off itself. But in this world, apparently people still use landlines and have answering machines. And, let me tell you, that British phone noise makes my ear internals flap in a really unpleasant way. And each episode employs it and the click of an answering machine over and over again.

Along with the horrible phone tone, they employ this same sound effect that mimics a tape rewinding. A super-high-pitched tape rewinding. It’s excruciating. There are also other high-pitched squeals and beeps and myriad other annoying noises that make the experience really unpleasant. On top of this is the accents. Maybe to British ears, they make sense. But not only did I have issues understanding them, there are just certain Brit accents that are super-difficult to listen to for an entire podcast. They come across as harsh and almost fake-sounding. They almost clang coming out of the actors’ throats. There’s one episode with a homeless woman who has one of these accents, her voice strained and accent guttural. She certainly sounded worn and weary and weighed down by drugs and cigarettes. She also sounded about 60, but not until the end is it revealed she’s supposed to be 22. It made no sense. Get a different voice actor if you’re gonna do that.

Now that I’m done complaining about the actual sound of the audio pod, let me complain about the whole of the thing. Because this lines itself up as this anthology series of sorts, where each of its ten episodes is loosely connected (three of them are actually connected) in a world that somehow rubs up against another world. Like there’s a tear in our universe that allows another to peek in. But, you know what? The shit makes no sense. It’s clunky as hell and each episode treats the whole concept completely differently. The first, “Over and Out,” is absolutely terrible, turning a ghost story into some sort of moral story about a dead WWII vet learning that there are gay people? At least that’s what I took from it. It’s really stupid.

The rest of them are not quite as wonky, but instead of eye-rollingly bad, are just confusing. Having listened to several scripted fiction podcasts at this point, there is a very specific way to write them. It involves some exposition and some directional narrative, but balanced with sound effects and showing (via audio) rather than telling. It seems the script writers here are not used to writing for audio and essentially put everything in the script. The characters are constantly describing what’s going on out loud. Their internal dialogues are spoken. People talk about stuff they’d never talk about. To be fair, it seems the producers were given a library of about four sounds to work with, but the combo of way too much explanation and pretty horrendous audio production made for a disjointed and relatively unpleasant experience.

The only episode that kind of pulled things together was one called “The Queue,” despite being a Britishism for “The Line.” They decided to tell a much more straight-forward, Twilight Zone type tale and it worked, for the most part. Mostly because I actually understood what the hell was going on and it had a cohesive story and a satisfactory ending. And I think this was mostly because it ignored the conceit of the series, which was this vague thing about rubbing universes or something. Anyhow, I appreciate the attempt to get a bunch of writers together to try to create something together, but it feels like the rules should have been better established, the writers prepped better for the medium and the audio folks given more to work with. Did I also mention the production outros are done via that whispery ASMR garbage (which makes me want to stab myself in the neck)? Yeah…

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2020BBC SoundsScripted Fiction
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      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary