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House of Flying Daggers

by mr. hipster February 8, 2006
February 8, 2006
House of Flying Daggers
65
House of Flying Daggers
2004 ∙ Martial Arts ∙ 1h 59min

I have a Blockbuster Online account that I get for free through work. It’s basically a giant rip off of Netflix. I know because I helped build it. So you basically sit there with three DVDs out at a time. And, as anyone with one of these great services knows, there’s always one that stagnates, while the other two continue to rotate. This was that film. And it’s not because I didn’t want to see it; it was a matter of the subtitles. Reading is just so hard after a long day of work. And the weekends are for rest. So, in the sum total of things, this movie gets screwed because I’m too lazy to read. Then, of course, I’ll lay there in bed at night and read 30 pages of some crap book. I’m a very complicated man.

Meanwhile, I decided to force myself to sit down and watch this thing and just suck it up and move my eyeballs a little bit. It turns out that speaking Chinese would make this thing like fifty times more enjoyable. And that’s just because you end up missing the great visuals while trying to catch the ugly yellow subtitles as they pop up on the screen. Luckily, as with most of these fancy kung-fu movies, there’s not a whole lot of plot to follow. And f’ me if this wasn’t the same movie as Crouching Tiger. I have very little recollection of that film, although I gave it the same rating as this one. I’m going to say the plot of this one was even more simplistic and easy to follow.

The basic gist is that the government in China is corrupt and evil, so there is this rebel group called the Flying Daggers who are kind of like a Robin Hood band of assassins that fight against the tyranny of the Emperor and his henchmen. And, let me tell you, that Emperor is one bad dude–or so we would think by all the guards he sends to quash these rebels. The thing takes place in some indeterminate time in which everyone is clean and well-dressed. All the edifices are kept up and well tended to. It seems odd that in such a poor, oppressive time that things would be so nice, but the closest I’ve been to fourteenth century China (or whenever this is supposed to take place) is the pagoda at Chengdu 46 Chinese restaurant in Jersey.

Meanwhile there’s this blind hooker (at least I think she’s a hooker) played by Ziyi Zhang who is the new, mysterious woman at the brothel. She is rumored to be the daughter of the old rebel leader, so the police go there undercover to investigate. A bunch of stuff happens and the undercover police guy (who works for the Emperor) ends up “protecting” Zhang from the very police force he belongs to–or so she thinks. There’s a double-cross, and a double-double-cross in there, and everyone ends up in love with Zhang. This part I can understand, but the plot device is pretty much just there to bridge the gaps between battle scenes.

The battles are often more like ballet or modern dance than fighting, which is both excellent to watch, and also a bit weird. Watching a 90-pound woman beat ten guys with swords is a little emasculating. But, again, I’ve never carried a sword or tried to punch a woman, so what the hell do I know? The love affair is so quick and melodramatic, it verges on farcical, but it somehow works in the scheme of things and has more of an impact than most attempts in “action” movies. The thing is great to look at, and will please those of you out there who don’t want to same Hollywood shoot-em-up garbage that ends in a tidy, little package and makes you wonder why they keep making the same film over and over again.

2004Andy LauForeignMartial ArtsTakeshi KaneshiroYimou ZhangZiyi Zhang
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      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary