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Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

by mr. hipster September 16, 2016
September 16, 2016
Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
74
Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
Genre: Science Fiction
Author: David Wong
Publication Year: 2015
Length: 384 pages

I may have gone one too deep in the David Wong (aka Jason Pargin) canon. Granted, including Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits, his canon numbers three. First there was John Dies at the End. That novel was fun and funny and mixed and matched post-modern and horror and comedic genres in a really great way that felt fresh and new to me. Then came the sequel, This Book is Full of Spiders. It was less funny and less fun. It wasn’t bad per se, but quite a comedown from his debut. So now, with his third novel, he’s left the “John” universe of modern-day suburbia and moved into a future society that he uses to purportedly make hay of what he feels is our headlong spiral into uncontrolled narcissism and consumerism. This, unlike his past books, pushes out into the larger sphere of the world and the pretty cynical and bleak outlook of what that world will become based on our current habits.

The thing is, despite this being set in the future, the book somehow feels dated. This is always the issue with books set in the future, I suppose. Write about tech that’s supposed to be “futuristic,” and even a year after its publishing, when some of the tech becomes reality, things kind of feel dusty. Also, Wong’s writing. While I was originally impressed with his first book, this one, in way too many situations, is too cute by half. He tries to create dialogue and situations that he thinks will be funny and/or entertaining, but often times, like a comedian trying out his act in a smaller club in order to hone his delivery, the stuff falls flat. He tries zingers, but they often come across as crude or obviously not worked over and thought through the way his older writing was. Like he’s working to establish these characters on the fly. Whereas his John and Dave characters in his first two novels feel like he knows them inside and out, these characters (who are more like caricatures) feel flat and forced at times. It’s nice that he tried to deliver a female protagonist in Zoey Ashe, but she ends up essentially being the equivalent of a bro with boobs and nothing like any woman I’ve ever come across. Maybe that’s the point, but there’s nuance missing there that existed in his earlier work.

So, why the cat and the guns on the cover? And why fancy suits? Well, there’s a smelly cat that belongs to the aforementioned protagonist, Zoey Ashe. She’s a lazy, overweight (but with nice boobs, apparently) young trailer-dweller stuck in a dead-end job and with no apparent motivation to either make her cat unsmelly or change her life. Enter the weird hitman-like guy who comes to murder her while broadcasting his doings on some sort of worldwide social, video network. It’s not Periscope or Facebook Live or anything, but it approximates those services, but is apparently what people live for and dwell on day and night. The mystery to her, of course, is why she would warrant an assassination attempt? She soon finds out that her father, whom she knew very little of growing up, became a big-wig in the lawless, but Vegas-like city of Tabula Ra$a. He was recently murdered and apparently left all of his mounds of money to her. Of course she’s the last to know, but a price has been put on her head by a gang of thugs who need her to unlock his riches so that they may pilfer them. Forces loyal to her father (the dudes with the guns and the fancy suits) — whose wealth was built upon your typical Vegas-like legal/not-legal mound of debauchery — come to her aid, but their motivations are also always in question. The scene moves to the wacky city of Tabula Ra$a, and if you couldn’t tell by the dollar sign in the name, it’s all about money and greed and consumerism and some vague notion of what Wong possibly thinks are our base wants and needs? Anyway, we meet the group trying to protect her and the group trying to kill her — including the antagonistic group’s charismatic, but psychotic, leader, Molech — and violence and explosions and drinking and some gore and some sex ensue. And that’s really the crux of the book. Guys trying to kill Zoey and Zoey trying to not get killed.

The thing is, the book is silly. And I don’t mind silliness, really, but it feels like Wong is sitting (most likely stoned, though I have no actual insight into that point) with a couple buddies and is like, “Oh, you know what might be cool? Like, how could we explode a dude’s crotch?” It just feels sophomoric and goofy and not at all the deep, biting satirical piece about society that I think he thinks or he wanted people to think it is. He just constantly goes for the cheap dick joke or scatalogical nonsense. And when those don’t seem to work, he goes for the gross-out. It’s like a Farrelly Brothers movie, where they look at the script and have to make sure to have at least one diarrhea, jizz or fart scene (and, in Wong’s case, dismemberment) every 20 pages. The man loves to maim his characters and generally talk about their digestion issues. Look, I don’t want to besmirch a book that some may find incredibly entertaining, but I’m starting to get the sense that my love affair with comedic futuristic books (see Three Days in April) has come to an abrupt end. It’s a weird thing, because I find thought-provoking sci-fi movies to be pretty awesome, but I just can’t get into it in books for the most part.

2015David WongHumorous FictionScience Fiction
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      February 20, 2023

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      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary