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Quills

by mr. hipster January 15, 2001
January 15, 2001
Quills
64
Quills
2000 ∙ Period Drama ∙ 2h 4min

Ugh, there is really very little redeeming about this movie. Okay, Geoffrey Rush is a good actor, Kate Winslet’s fair, and you get to see her naked… but this does not a movie make. Joaquin Phoenix overacts, bugs his eyes out and screws up his mouth a lot — a performance that is indistinguishable from his turn in Gladiator. He really is over the top, and when you add in stilted, ridiculous dialogue to boot, the results aren’t very pretty.

I’m truly amazed that people liked this movie. I swear that people pretend to like films because they feel they should. Ooh, it’s got a mostly English cast, and doesn’t have explosions — it has to be art! I say we call crap crap.

So you have this guy, The Marquis de Sade, who is a sick, twisted individual. No, he’s not this crusader for free speech that they make him out to be in the film. The guy was arrested for basically raping and torturing a woman, as well as poisoning others during a manage a trois and attempting to sodomize another. Wow, what a swell guy. This definitely sounds like a character we should sympathize with. Certainly a guy who would elicit the attention of an innocent washerwoman like Kate Winslet. It’s really disturbing how movies romanticize utterly despicable historical characters. Did you know that Ted Bundy really loved classical music and was just a misunderstood romantic guy? Come on.

So, de Sade is portrayed as this tortured soul who just yearns to write, to share his thoughts, to get them out of his head. We are given the idea that he is in jail for merely writing down controversial thoughts. Um, no. Granted, his writings certainly didn’t help his case. If the Marquis were around today, he’d be the guy in the trenchcoat jerking off on a park bench to a crowd of secretaries eating their lunches. Worse, he’s the guy who would drop GHB into a woman’s drink at a bar and rape her in the coat closet. By every account, the guy was just a manipulative sexual deviant who cheated on his wife with every manner of prostitute (man, woman and child), loved blood play and enjoyed forced sodomy. Sounds like a hero, eh? Also reading up on The Marquis, this history is not even close to how things actually happened. Whatever.

So, according to Quills, The Marquis is locked up in an insane asylum for doing something we don’t really know about. He befriends this innocent woman who takes out the laundry (Kate Winslet) and gets her to smuggle out his stories of sadism and sex to a publisher. Blah, blah, blah. They figure out that these banned books are coming from The Marquis. And Abbe, the director of the asylum, takes away his quills so he can’t write. They also send in Michael Caine to “cure” The Marquis. Without his quills, The Marquis starts losing his mind, as he can’t get the evil, sadistic thoughts out of his head. So he figures out a way to write a book on his sheets using a chicken bone and red wine. Another annoying point: this one sheet full of rather large writing somehow turns into a novel. Later, after his sheets are taken away, he writes an entire novel in his own blood on his clothes. Again, there is no way this small amount of writing turns into a thick novel. Ridiculous.

Meanwhile, Michael Caine’s character marries some young orphan and basically forces himself on her. Also, his “cures” include dunking people in water, an iron maiden looking device, and other torture. Is this supposed to be subtle? Great, they’re both sadistic individuals. Who cares? Meanwhile, I’m not really sure what point the filmmakers are trying to make. On the one hand, they are saying that the voice of free speech can’t be squashed. On the other hand, everyone who reads The Marquis’ books or comes into contact with him seems to become sexually deviant. The innocent washerwoman allows The Marquis to slobber on her and fondle her. Michael Caine’s wife reads Justine and wants to give the architect a hummer, an asylum inmate sees one of The Marquis’ plays and tries to rape Kate Winslet, the Abbe (a priest) almost breaks his vows of celibacy, etc. Are they trying to back up the religious right who say that violent and sexual images make people want to be violent and sexual? Again, whatever. Anyway, I don’t get the point of the movie, I don’t sympathize or care about any of the characters, and I was really getting sick of seeing Geoffrey Rush’s skinny, white ass.

2000Biographical DramaGeoffrey RushJoaquin PhoenixKate WinsletMichael CainePeriod DramaPhilip Kaufman
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      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary