Is it possible this album is even cheesier than the first? “Nobody cares!” whines Carrabba on the first track. Of course nobody cares you damn pussy, that’s life. Why the hell is “Screaming Infidelities” on this album too? Is this the remix? Did he use a twelve string this time? Uh, it sounds like a wimpier version of the one on his debut, The Swiss Army Romance. I’m so bored I’m going to faint. I want to hug my stuffed animals and cry. *Sniff* *Sniff* I wish he’d wrap his tattooed arms around me and comfort me in my adolescent weepiness. I can smell the gel in his pompadour! He’s so sensitive. Ugh, the shameless pandering to the teen girls is deplorable. Of course, here I am a full-grown hetero, adult male listening to this guy moan about chicks. What does that make me? A sniveling emo boy-man, I guess. The amazing homogeny between all the songs on this album is shocking, and, like the evil kid who was always scratching his finger nails on the chalkboard, gets real beat real quick.
7
