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Lisey’s Story

by mr. hipster September 9, 2021
September 9, 2021
Lisey's Story
71
Lisey's Story
Genre: Horror Drama
Service: Apple TV+
Series Year: 2021
Watch: Apple TV+

I quit Stephen King decades ago. His books, at least. But it seems like I keep running into his movies and shows and whatever else. Some things are decent. Some are just ok. And other things are kinda painful. And then there’s Lisey’s Story, which is just… confusing. I’m not saying my feelings about it are confused. I am literally saying that I watched it and I have no fucking clue what was going on about 82% of the time. And, honestly, even when I did get what our characters were doing or where the action was bringing us, I mostly wondered why. Why was this thing so overly convoluted and pseudo-mystical in an unappetizing and unsatisfying way?

This show — as you can see from the poster — is all about Julianne Moore. She is Lisey. Which I still have no idea how to pronounce. And I swear several of the actors don’t either. They either botch it or mumbl it to cover the fact they don’t know if it’s Leesey or Lisey or Lissey. Speaking of mumbling, have we figured out why Clive Owen is a thing? His Character, Scott Landon, is supposed to be this singularly American horror/supernatural book author with a large, dedicated following (like, say, a certain S. King). Then why hire a clearly British actor — who normally sports an incredibly thick British accent — to play this blue collar, low-class dude from Pennsylvania? His attempt to cover his accent is mostly unsuccessful, as he low-talks and forced me to either crank the TV volume or rewind to catch his dialogue on the regular. He’s also an odd-looking dude. Which I know he can’t help. But there’s something specifically weird about his makeup and hair in this one that is particularly creepy. In the same way your uncle Joey’s dye job looks as if it’s about to Giuliani down his temples. This is that.

The funny thing is, Scott is dead. He’s dead when the series starts, and dead when it ends. He appears in flashbacks and as a… ghost. I guess? But, I swear, I cannot for the life of me figure out how he died. I thought I knew. But then I didn’t. It was really fucking confusing. As is the entire series. The reality and unreality and kind of garbage editing and symbolism is confounding. The creators of the show had to know we’d lose track of what was what. The constant flashbacks, the shit that’s in Lisey’s head and the dead-eyed performance from Owen don’t help. At all. I imagine it’s somewhat akin to doing acid in a wormhole. There were periods during episodes that I definitely lost focus and thought about turning it off. It was all just too dreamy and floaty for its own good.

Oddly, the thing that saves the series — or at least kicks it in the pants every once in a while — is Jennifer Jason Leigh. I’ve never considered her a great thespian or anything, but her late-career resurgence as the sharp-tongued, fly-in-the-ointment is revelatory. She’s the only character that grounds this thing. She’s the audience avatar, almost calling out all this bullshit as stupid and over-wrought. She’s a realist; sarcastic and bossy. She plays Lisey’s sister, Darla, who feels like one giant eye-roll at the whole thing. And I’m feelin’ it. Otherwise it’s all weird nonsense and coded stupidity. And mysterious miniature lighthouses. Which — and I’m going to assume this was in the novel — feels like an odd thing for a dude from the middle of PA to be obsessed with. But not a guy from Maine, who happened to pen the associated novel and use the Scott Landon character as an obvious stand-in for himself. Just another non-sequitur in a series of non-sequiturs.

King is also a little too, uh, King-y in this one. There’s this whole dream world that characters can enter when water is present. That water, however, seems to be anything from a sink to a tub to a lake. It’s kind of bullshit. This dream world is where Scott lives. Or, rather, where he sits in what looks like an amphitheater in front of a creepy lake with some other people around. Who are those people? No idea. And some of whom are in shrouds? Yeah, I don’t know. And, get this. The place is called Boo’ya Moon. Why? I have no fucking idea. And what goes on there? I also have no idea. Other than the fact nobody can talk very loud because there’s a monster called, get this: Long Boy. Why, Stephen King, do you pick such stupid names for shit sometimes? Not to mention Scott and his dad — and subsequently Scott and Lisey — go on these things called “bool hunts.” Which are basically just scavenger hunts where one note with a clue on it leads to another note with a clue on it. Which, when Owen keeps saying it — bool — is completely indecipherable. Because he’s a mumbly fuck.

The rest of the show is about mental instability, self-harm and psychosis. The “bad guy,” if we were to assign one, is an obsessed fan named Dooley. He’s kind of your run-of-the-mill psycho. Dane DeHaan does as well as he can with this critically underdeveloped character, but you’d think a million decades into King’s career that he could do better than some cheap carbon copy of Mark David Chapman. Or just about any De Niro character from Taxi Driver to The King of Comedy to Cape Fear to The Fan. Man, that dude plays a lot of obsessed, loner psychotics! So this Dooley character is basically the incel version of all those characters rolled into one. But written as a flat, nothingman. It’s a disappointing Misery rehash of sorts. But Dooley is no Annie Wilkes. And I don’t think we’ll be getting the Dooley season of Castle Rock coming any time soon.

I’m sure you can tell from all the cussing that I was not a huge fan of this show. It tried and failed to be cerebral and mystical. Obviously King had something in his head that he wanted to put out there about his writing process and creativity and how a person’s past affects both. But instead he buried the point in too much smoke. And too many mirrors. None of which aligned. It’s a bit of a confused mess, truth be told. Shit, the thing is called Lisey’s Story, but the only real end-to-end story we get is Scott’s. Which, like the rest of all this, is weird. I get the vibe, but it wasn’t one with which I was grooving.

2021Apple TV+Clive OwenDane DeHaanHorror DramaJennifer Jason LeighJoan AllenJulianne MooreMichael PittOmar MetwallyRon Cephas JonesStephen KingSupernatural
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      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary