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Wayward Pines: Seasons 1 & 2

by mr. hipster June 3, 2020
June 3, 2020
Wayward Pines
74
Wayward Pines
Genre: Sci-Fi Mystery
Network: Fox
Creator: Chad Hodge
Season Years: 2015 / 2016
Watch: Hulu

How does one write a review of two seasons of a show without at least spoiling the first season? Especially when, like in Wayward Pines, there’s a mystery that ends in a twist of sorts in episode five, which is not so sneakily entitled “The Truth?” The answer is that you don’t. The series got canceled after two seasons anyway after ending season two on a cliffhanger, so who the fuck cares, really?

Can we talk about season one’s protagonist, Matt Dillon? Not his character, Ethan Burke, but Matt Dillon, the “actor.” The guy was funny as a dumbass in There’s Something About Mary. Though I mainly associate him with one movie from childhood, My Bodyguard, one from adolescence, The Flamingo Kid, one from my teen years, Drugstore Cowboy and one from a very formative time in college, Singles. I know he’s been in a bunch of other films, but even in that diverse group, he ends up always playing a kind of lunkhead (or stoner lunkhead in the latter two). It fits his acting style, which is somewhere in the Sly Stallone meets Keanu meets less-energetic Matt LeBlanc territory. In other words, his range is about nil and it’s tough to take him seriously sometimes. He’s a decent comedic actor, oddly, but when asked to play “smart” and serious as he is in this show, it verges on laughable at times. Plus, he has this weird gate throughout the show, as if he needs knee surgery or has hip dysplasia. And, as a guy who is supposed to be an active secret service agent, you’d think that would hurt his career. He is pretty handsome, though!

Based on a series of books by Blake Crouch, they also got M. Night Shyamalan involved in the series to apparently give it some of his special M. Night magic. Considering the series, on the surface, is almost exactly the same as his horrible movie, The Village, that he totally sucked up, I suppose it makes sense. Second chances to get it right and all. You can kind of sense his fingerprints all over this thing, which, as we know, can sometimes not be a great thing. Granted, I didn’t read Crouch’s book, so this ham-fisted way of unwinding an interesting mystery could have been 100% his doing.

So, let’s just get past the so-called mystery. Ethan Burke (Dillon), a secret service agent, crashes on his way to investigate the disappearance of two of his fellow agents in Idaho. He wakes up and finds himself in this weird Idaho town where he apparently can’t seem to connect to the outside world and is faced with what feels a bit like some sort of Stepford thing. The place is clearly creepy and he continuously gets stymied trying to get out to get back to his family. It’s super Twilight Zone like. He eventually finds his ex-partner for whom he was searching (Carla Gugino) who seems to have mysteriously aged ten years in five weeks. There is an electrified fence keeping them in and some sort of looping reality that causes him to drive in circles when trying to escape the town (which is taken directly from Les Revenants). That last part never seems to come back after the mystery is solved (and is discernibly not supernatural). But is the place a CIA experiment, some sort of Lost thing, or something else entirely?

So, let’s get past the mystery. It turns out that some crazy scientist essentially created a human ark. He kidnapped a bunch of people he felt would be good to restart a society, put them to sleep for two thousand years and then woke them up in large groups in order to populate Wayward Pines. The last bastion of humanity on Earth. Taking humans’ place outside the town’s walls are these things called Abbies, which came about because of climate change (I think) and are essentially something between a human and an animal. And for some reason they crave human flesh. Even though the Earth supposedly reconstituted itself after humans died off and there is wildlife all over. So why stalk the humans, who number about 1,000 in a small corner of Idaho, when there are millions of nice deer, fish and birds and bears to eat? Unclear and unexplained.

The show goes on to question whether living in a society that closely monitors its people, kills those who don’t follow the rules in the public square and assigns jobs and spouses to people based on something that, again, they don’t explain. And is all that worth the protection it affords them. It’s essentially a study on authoritarianism and how much is too much to give up for the sake of “safety.” Ethan eventually replaces the seemingly blood-thirsty sheriff (Terrence Howard) and tries to turn the society toward freedom rather than crushing oversight, but soon falls into the same pitfalls trying to keep order that his predecessor does. But with worse acting.

I will give it to the show. They aren’t afraid to kill main characters the hell off. By a couple episodes into season two, pretty much everyone — with a couple exceptions — who was a lead in season one has been murdered. Some with little fanfare. It’s odd. Jason Patric comes in to replace Dillon, and with it brings way better acting and a surgeon character (with his laughable name, Theo Yedlin) who is actually more interesting. Granted, everything else on the show becomes entirely stupid. The world has been taken over by the youth. All of whom dress in vaguely, not-so-subtle Nazi uniforms, declaring martial law and practicing eugenics. They literally pair up boys and girls who have just gotten their first periods to get pregnant to keep the population up. It probably would have helped to stop murdering people, I’d think.

Aside from the weak plotting, meandering narrative and some serious holes in logic, there was the whole Fox of it all. There’s just something about the quality of the video and the sets that feels like Fox. Not FX or USA or even NBC. But Fox. That 24 thing. I can’t really explain it, but there’s something about it that felt verging on cheesy. A little too bright when it should be dark and a little too dark when it should be bright. A little too loud always. The scripts a little too hyperbolic and/or shrill. And the storylines sometimes more blunt instrument than scalpel. I must say, the first four episodes of season one were the best of the series. Before we knew what Wayward Pines was. Before we saw the people in bald caps and green paint playing the monsters outside the wall. Before, like The Village, the mystery was ultimately not as cool as the million things I had in my head. And, after the reveal, was nothing but disappointing.

2016Blake CrouchCarla GuginoChad HodgeCharlie TahanFoxGreta LeeHope DavisJason PatricJuliette LewisM. Night ShyamalanMatt DillonMelissa LeoNimrat KaurPost-Apocalyptic DramaSci-Fi MysteryShannyn SossamonSiobhan Fallon HoganTerrence HowardToby Jones
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      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary