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Blockers

by mr. hipster October 1, 2018
October 1, 2018
Blockers
80
Blockers
Genre: Comedy
Director: Kay Cannon
Release Year: 2018
Runtime: 1h 42min

This is a smart movie. Okay, it’s kind of a dumb fucking movie, but the concept of mashing up a teen sex comedy and one of those adult caper comedies is pure marketing genius. Shit, they got me to watch it. On a plane. For free. But, still, I’ve been wanting to see this thing after hearing decent reviews from relatively trustworthy sources. Granted, trustworthy sources let me down constantly. Which would, I think, also make them relatively untrustworthy as well. Anyway, in this particular case, these sources were correct. This was a funny movie that mixed butt-chugging with some heartfelt parent/child relationship stuff — and, of course, a pack of teens making a bid to lose their virginity. So, like Losin’ It blended with Parenthood in a Superbad shell.

I won’t go into who is Tom Cruise and who’s Keanu Reeves in this equation (that’s a reference to two of the movies above in case I lost you), but suffice it to say that that, well, I guess John Cena is Tom Cruise and Ike Barinholtz is Keanu Reeves. But totally not. Instead they, along with Leslie Mann, are a trio of parents who met when their daughters were kindergartners. Those same three girls maintain their friendship all the way through school and are now seniors in high school ready to go to their prom. While the parents’ lives have changed (divorces, etc.), little seems to have changed in the lives of the girls. They’re still best friends, they’re still good students and they’re still virgins and they don’t seem to have a problem in the world. So why not throw caution to the wind and make a pact to lose their virginity (virginities?) on prom night? That is literally the entirety of the plot. And, if it sounds familiar, but gender-switched, it should. And it avoids (at least to my amateur sleuthing) the problems that the film might have had if this was the 90s and the three protagonists were teenage boys.

So the parents learn of this plan to lose it and set out to cock block their daughters. It’s part road movie, part slapstick, part teenage sex comedy. There’s gross-out stuff, lots of dick-and-balls talk and some sentimentality that is nicely curbed by not getting to schmaltzy. The surprising cast member is John Cena. I think he was the father who lived in a fridge in those awful Fred movies that Hipster Jr. made me watch with him a decade or so ago, but otherwise I know he’s a wrestler and has been in some other movies I totally haven’t seen. The dude is huge, but plays a nice, nerdy, fanny-pack-wearing, over-protective dad of a super-smart girl. And while he’s certainly not going to be winning any Oscars in the near future, his wide-eyed innocence is pretty damn charming. Ike Barinholtz is another dude I’m not particularly familiar with, but he is funny as hell and plays a good cad/bro with a heart of gold-ish. And Leslie Mann, as always, plays the straight-(wo)man to perfection. She’s a fucking treasure. The girls are all good, but really don’t see the kind of quality screen time that the parents get. Their story is almost secondary to those of their parents and the learning process they go through in trying to stop their daughters from the rooster.

Now, if I were a nit-picky man, I would point out that this movie has all sorts of timing issues. That is almost a hallmark of these types of movies, where the action changes scenes multiple times and it’s all played for laughs, not time/space reality. Characters appear to seemingly teleport from place to place. Things that took an hour to get to only take minutes to get back to. Cars get wrecked, but then people somehow get to far away places on foot or in Ubers that don’ exist. It’s all kind of a mess on that front. There’s also the teen movie trope of a high-schooler somehow secretly applying to a college without her parents knowing. That shit doesn’t really happen. Also, the movie takes place in Chicago and there’s an insinuation in the film that University of Chicago is some sort of “local” school that’s like a safety school for one of the characters. University of Chicago is one of the ten best colleges in the US. It ain’t Arizona State, dude. I suppose I can let all of this go and just sit back and enjoy a good, old-fashioned comedy every once in a while. It is weird that they make less and less of these movies. They just seem like the perfect streaming type movie, funny and uncomplicated. And an easy choice in an era where very little else is actually, unironically laugh-out-loud hysterical.

2018Andrew LopezColton DunnComedyGary ColeGeraldine ViswanathanHannibal BuressIke BarinholtzJohn CenaJune Diane RaphaelKathryn NewtonKay CannonLeslie Mann
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Mr. Hipster
  • TV
    • TVTelevision ReviewsGood / Bad Commercial
      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Your Friends & Neighbors: Season 1

      July 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Last of Us: Season 2

      June 24, 2025

      Television Reviews
      MobLand: Season 1

      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary