Teleon CafeDirectly across the street from The New York Times building, Teleon definitely serves its share of commie pinko bastards. No, seriously, whom do these liberal media-types think they are, ordering “salads” and “panini sandwiches?” Obviously these are things only the elite dine upon, while us normal folk are relegated to the local shithole bodega, clinging to our guns and sandwiches. I even saw one woman here ask for a tuna salad on a baguette. Those French-loving bastards–I knew it! Next they’ll be ordering a “Cuban” or, worse, a roast beef with Russian dressing! If you can stand the stink of the bleeding hearts all over the joint, I do suggest the chicken, veggie and brown rice sti-fry with the house brown soy sauce, which is ever so American in nature. Wait, what? Stir-fry is technically Chinese? Oh sweet Jesus, the Gray Lady and her minions have obviously brainwashed me. I’m so torn between being a true patriot and that sweet sweet chickeny taste. WWRD (What Would Reagan Do)? [MF]


264 W 40th St.
212/575-3838
teleoncafe.com