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Regression

by mr. hipster February 17, 2021
February 17, 2021
Regression
60
Regression
Genre: Crime Drama
Director: Alejandro Amenábar
Release Year: 2015
Runtime: 1h 46min

On the surface you’d think Regression might be good. You look at the poster and you see the Gen X critical darling of the moment-ish, Ethan Hawke, and young-ish Harry Potter alum, Emma Watson. In a film directed by Alejandro Amenábar, whom I somehow confused with Alfonso Cuarón or Guillermo del Toro. Or maybe it was Pedro Almodóvar. And not the dude who directed The Others and pretty much nothing else. My stupid, casual ignorance strikes again! Point is, I read the cover, judged it and now realize that that saying cuts both ways.

What I didn’t realize is that this film takes place in 1990. And that it’s set during that era to trade on the whole satanic panic, ritual abuse thing of the eighties and early nineties. There’s a cheesy title card at the beginning and end of the film telling us as much. Thanks, dudes. It’s as if they were like, a lot of this type of stuff happened back then, and here’s one that totally didn’t happen, but totally could have! So it’s based on a possible true story that possibly maybe could have happened, but didn’t as far as we know. Way to commit.

Watson’s character, Angela, is a seventeen year old in Minnesota. She has a creepy dad who turns himself in to police for sexually abusing her. But has no actual recollection of doing it. Bruce Kenner (confusingly not Bruce Jenner), played by Hawke, is the detective put on the case. For some completely fabricated and nonsensical reason, this podunk police precinct also employs a British therapist/professor (David Thewlis) who happens to have an expertise in regression therapy. He’s so incredibly out of place in this town, in this police station and in this movie, it’s insane. Or absurd. But he hypnotizes people and they seem to recall not the father abusing anyone, but a band of satanists. In the barn of Angela’s house. In hoods. With like baby sacrifice and shit.

All the stories of satan worship start to get to Bruce and he starts to have panic attacks and shit. And clearly everyone is having some weird case of mass hysteria based merely on some foggy recollections that are clearly disconnected from reality because there’s no proof of any of it. Bruce is sucked into it and basically shows us that he’s a garbage investigator, a pretty unstable human being and a little bit of a pedo if I’m being honest. I’m not certain that’s what we’re supposed to take from it, but that’s the end result. Filmed in this warped fashion that feels oddly amateurish. The whole thing builds slowly and boringly to a twist that isn’t a twist and then just kind of fizzles to the end with the aforementioned title card. Roll the credits and queue the yawns.

The whole film is dark and feels remarkably not American, despite ostensibly being about a very American phenomenon. Hawke’s character is confusing to say the least, but not as confusing as Thewlis’. The twist feels very of the time in a Body Heat or Basic Instinct kind of way. Like if someone on twitter who is way smarter than me on these things did a deep dive on the morality, misogyny and victim-blaming wrapped up in it, they could have a field day. In fact, the whole end of the film literally stands the satanic panic cases on their head and misses the point completely. Yeah, man, those McMartin Preschoolers really manipulated those adults’ memories in order to get them fired for ritualistic child abuse. Yeah, that’s not what happened in real life.

2015Alejandro AmenábarCrime DramaDale DickeyDavid DencikDavid ThewlisDevon BostickEmma WatsonEthan Hawke
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Aaron Moorhead Aaron Schneider Aaron Sorkin Adam McKay Adrienne Shelly Alan Rudolph Alejandro Amenábar Alex Garland Alex Gibney Alex Proyas Alexander Payne Alfonso Cuarón Anand Tucker Andrew Adamson & Vicky Jenson Andrew Stanton Andy & Larry Wachowski Ang Lee Anthony Minghella Antoine Fuqua Anton Corbijn Ari Aster Baltasar Kormákur Banksy Ben Affleck Benjamin Statler Bennett Miller Ben Younger Bill Paxton Billy Ray Bong Joon Ho Brad Anderson Brad Bird Brad Silberling Brian Koppelman & David Levien Bruno Barreto Burr Steers Byron Howard Cameron Crowe Casey Affleck Celine Song Chad Stahelski Chan-wook Park Charlie Kaufman Charlie McDowell Chris & Paul Weitz Chris Caldwell Chris McKay Chris Wilcha Chris Williams Christopher Guest Christopher McQuarrie Christopher Nolan Christos Nikou Clint Eastwood Colin Trevorrow Cord Jefferson Craig Gillespie Craig Zobel Curtis Hanson D.J. Caruso Damien Chazelle Dan Myrick Danièle Thompson Daniels Danny Boyle Danny Leiner Dan Rush Darren Aronofsky Daryl Wein David Ayer David Burton Morris David Cronenberg David Fincher David Gordon Green David Koepp David Leitch David Mackenzie David Mamet David O. Russell David Robert Mitchell Denis Villeneuve Dennis Dugan Doug Liman Drew Barrymore Duncan Jones Edgar Wright Ed Sanchez II Edward Zwick Elijah Bynum Emerald Fennell Emmanuel Osei-Kuffour Ethan Coen Fenton Bailey & Randy Barbato Forest Whitaker Frank Oz Gary Winick Gene Stupnitsky George Clooney George Lucas George Nolfi Geremy Jasper Glenn Ficarra Glenn Triggs Gore Verbinski Greg Mottola Greta Gerwig Guillermo del Toro Guy Ritchie Henry Rubin & Dana Shapiro Isaac Ezban Ivan Reitman J.P. Schaefer Jake Kasdan James Cameron James Gray James Gunn James Mangold James Ward Byrkit Jared Hess Jason Reitman Jay Roach Jean-Pierre Jeunet Jeff Rowe Jeff Tomsic Jennifer Kent Jeremy Saulnier Jesse Eisenberg Jesse Peretz Joel & Ethan Coen Joel Schumacher Joe Swanberg Joe Wright John Crowley John Duigan John Hamburg John Krasinski John Landis John Lee Hancock John Requa John Waters Jonathan Demme Jonathan Glazer Jonathan Goldstein Jonathan Levine Jon Watts Jordan Peele Joseph Kosinski Judd Apatow Julian Schnabel Julio Torres Justin Benson Justine Triet Kay Cannon Kenneth Lonergan Kenya Barris Kerry Conran Kevin Macdonald Kevin Phillips Kevin Rodney Sullivan Kevin Smith Kimberly Pierce Kristoffer Borgli Lars von Trier Lasse Hallström Lee Tamahori Liev Schreiber Lila Neugebauer Lorcan Finnegan Luca Guadagnino Lynne Ramsay M. Night Shyamalan Marcel Langenegger Mark Mylod Mark Pellington Mark Waters Martin McDonagh Martin Scorsese Mary Harron Matthew Bright Matthew Vaughn Matt Reeves Matt Stone Max Barbakow Michael Bay Michael Lembeck Michael Mann Michael McCullers Michael Moore Michael Ritchie Michael Schwartz Michel Gondry Mike Flanagan Mike Nichols Morgan J. Freeman Morten Tyldum Neil LaBute Neill Blomkamp Nicholas Stoller Nicolas Winding Refn Niels Mueller Noah Baumbach Oliver Stone Oliver Thompson Olivia Wilde Olivier Assayas Patty Jenkins Paul Feig Paul Greengrass Paul Haggis Paul Schrader Paul Thomas Anderson Paul Weitz Peter Berg Peter Jackson Peter Sollett Philip Kaufman Phillip Noyce Pierre Morel Quentin Tarantino Rawson Marshal Thurber Reginald Hudlin Reverge Anselmo Rian Johnson Richard Ayoade Richard Linklater Richard Shepard Ridley Scott Rob Bowman Robert Ben Garant Robert De Niro Robert Lee King Robert Rodriguez Robert Schwentke Rod Lurie Roger Donaldson Roger Michell Roland Emmerich Roman Polanski Ron Howard Rose Glass Ryan Murphy Safdie Brothers Sam Esmail Sam Mendes Sarah Adina Smith Scott Derrickson Scott Walker Sean Baker Seth Gordon Shane Carruth Shawn Levy Sidney Lumet Spike Jonze Spike Lee Stephen Frears Steven Soderbergh Steven Spielberg Steve Pink Sydney Pollack Sylvester Stallone Taika Waititi Tamara Jenkins Terry Zwigoff Thomas McCarthy Tim Burton Timur Bekmambetov Todd Field Todd Haynes Todd Phillips Todd Solondz Tony Scott Trey Parker Troy Miller Tyler Nilson Vince Gilligan Wes Anderson Yimou Zhang Yorgos Lanthimos Zach Braff Zack Snyder Zeek Earl Zoe Lister-Jones

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      June 13, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Studio: Season 1

      June 3, 2025

      Television Reviews
      The Residence: Season 1

      May 30, 2025

      Television Reviews
      Zero Day

      April 30, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      The More You Know: How to Pronounce “Comfortable”…

      June 10, 2025

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Mattress Firm “Jumbled Up”

      August 10, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: JUBLIA “Dad’s Toenails”

      February 20, 2023

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: J.G. Wentworth “Living at Home”

      December 19, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Bad Commercial: Apple iPhone 12 “Fumble”

      April 15, 2021

      Good / Bad Commercial
      Good Commercial: GEICO “Tag Team Helps With Dessert”

      March 15, 2021

  • Music
    • MusicAlbum ReviewsThe Music ListConcert Reviews
      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Star 99: Gaman

      May 12, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary