Mama Sbarros


This place confuses the crap out of us. It seems to be a regular Sbarro’s (the chain you find in every mall in America), but it has taken on a whole new Times Square persona that gives it a classier flair without any of the actual class. Oh, and a slice of pizza is about twice as much as it should be. And the folks running the place are the most inept bunch of dopes we’ve experienced in quite a while. Order a chicken roll and watch the asshole behind the counter grunt, throw it in the oven for 2.6 seconds and return a lump of congealed cheese and an inedible chunk of chicken wrapped in a chewy mess of bready dough. Then order a drink and watch the freaks scramble. It’s like a circus of ineptitude. Then we descend to the subterranean eating area, and are hit with the wonderful mixture of mildew and cleaning fluid. Then, after freezing to death and being subjected to awful Italian sing-along music, we run screaming into the teaming hordes hoping that the tourists don’t judge us by our shitty restaurants alone. [MF]

701 7th Ave.