Village VanguardOkay, we understand this is one of the most famous jazz clubs in the world, but is that any reason to completely take advantage of patrons, and essentially rip them off? First, admission is $30, which includes $10 towards your two-drink minimum. Second, you are seated practically on top of each other. (One patron claims he could smell the small intestine of the guy next to him.) Third, the 9:30 show lasts maybe 45 minutes, at which time you are basically told to get the fuck out so they can make room for people coming in for the 11:30 show. They don’t care of you have managed to suck down your second drink (which takes about half-an-hour to get) or not. Fourth, let’s face it: you either hate jazz or you pretend to stay awake during it. The place does a have a great, old nostalgic feel to it, but the basement space soon turns ugly when you realize you just paid $30 to see a bunch of nobodies play the same song over and over again for 45 minutes, and you didn’t even get to finish your drink. The weirdest thing is the crowd, which is mostly made up of Japanese tourists and Woody Allen and Diane Keaton/Annie Hall look-alikes. Save your money and go see a band you really want to see. [MF]

178 7th Ave. S.