How can a Japanese restaurant in the middle of midtown do no lunch business? Ask the slow-asses at Oikawa, who are less interested in serving you your food than watching the world rush by as their restaurant sucks wind. Worse than waiting for bad food is eating bad food. Actually, worse than eating bad food is paying a lot for bad food. Hmmm. Slow, bad, expensive food — not a winning combination for this future Chapter 11 disaster. [MF]

805 3rd Ave.