I’m still trying to figure out how a tortilla filled with cubes of cheese could technically be “healthy” or “wholesome,” but I’m the same guy who used to gargle his saccharine and asbestos shakes before going for a swim in the Love Canal, so what do I know? What was supposed to be a turkey, mushroom and Swiss wrap turned out to be more of a sonic surprise of lactose, “sautéed” mushrooms that spent more time in the air between the can and the pan than they did sizzling in the good stuff and some gobbler meat that was so overwhelmed by the rest of all the garbage in the thing that they might as well have spared the thing’s life and sent it to live with a nice crunchy vegan family. The whole presentation lacked panache and enthusiasm, thrown together haphazardly by a stoned Muppet chef. I guess, if I had to cut them one break, that the whole-wheat tortilla was more “healthy” than one made out of pigskin fried in peanut oil–although that’s a pretty unscientific opinion. [MF]
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