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Szechuan Mountain House – Manhattan

by mr. hipster December 19, 2023
December 19, 2023
Szechuan Mountain House
95
Szechuan Mountain House
Neighborhood: East Village
Cuisine: Chinese

It’s been a minute since I’ve hung out on St. Mark’s. But I was happy to see the punks still gather on the stoops to gab about cigarettes and hair glue. Or whatever punks talk about. Granted, the neighborhood has certainly leaned into its Asian flavor even more than the last time I took a stroll down its insular-feeling facades. For instance, Szechuan Mountain House is now a thing, way up there on the second floor. In a building that used to house Andy Warhol’s Electric Circus nightclub. The neighborhood has always been funky, I guess. But a different kind of funky.

It’s hard to imagine all those artsy people looking upon this joint from their perch in the 1960s. The building, chopped and readied for retail, is now home to a semi-upscale Chinese joint with an iPad hostess. Well, an iPad that takes the walk-in-only reservations and texts you when your table is ready. While you wait out on the curb, trying not to die at the hands of the berserker scooter delivery dudes, who seem to think the sidewalk is also their domain. Even on a Thursday night at 6:00, this joint is hoppin’. A table for two took us upwards of 40 minutes to land a spot. Popular place, this.

Once seated, you can kind of see why. Its faux Chinese-village-in-a-bamboo-forest vibe is very pleasing, if not antithetical to the crowded bustle that the restaurant actually is. I mean, this is not the place to come if you were thinking of a quiet, intimate date. The tables are packed in, the noise level is just below jet engine and the servers are like deft running backs, avoiding incoming patrons, bus boys and each other. It’s honestly best you don’t watch if you’re a nervous person. The menu is not your typical American Chinese. Frankly, I don’t know much about the difference between the different types of Chinese cuisine, despite growing up eating some sort of Chinese food on at least a bi-weekly basis. I can say pretty definitively that despite there being things like tripe, frog and “chicken paws” on the menu, I wasn’t going to be overly ambitious, experimental or adventurous on this night. And that’s on me.

What happens in really loud restaurants with low-talking servers and my old-ass, damaged ears is that I just defer to whomever I’m with to order for the table. Which, with Chinese, is generally fine. I just say “I don’t do pork” and leave it at that. Trouble is, their signature dish is something called swing pork belly. Which looks to be raw bacon-like strips of pork hanging over a mini sawhorse. Luckily it also comes with cucumber strips, which ain’t my eating mate’s bag. I feel bad; he could have ordered this for himself and just given me the cucumbers. But he must really hate cucumbers. Instead we got the house chicken appetizer. Which was cold chicken chunks, with cold chicken skin in an oily chili sauce with a minimal amount of peanuts on top. I was… less than enthused with the choice. Because, again, I didn’t realize it was going to be cold. Not room temp. Cold. So, cold chicken, slick oil and no deboning lead to not only tough sledding in terms of trying not to die on a bone shard, but also what I found to be a relatively unpleasant textural experience. That’s just me, though.

For our entrees, we ordered something called la-zi chicken and ma-ma hot fish. And, boy, we should have asked for the white-boy version, cuz this shit is haute. Hawt? Even the beers and the uncouth order of white rice could barely quell the sting of a shovel full of red chilis and a fish broth full of hot peppercorns. It’s called “hot” fish, dummy! Just like the cold chicken, I was thinking temperature and not Scoville heat units. Anyhow, the la-zi chicken arrived in a serving dish that resembled the head of a small spade. And, honestly, you couldn’t pick out the chicken from the absolute pile of beautiful red chilis. It looked really cool. And while the eating experience seemed more like a game than a culinary experience, I did enjoy challenging my palate with the constant burning sensation and apparent thing Szechuan eating does of risking life and limb on chicken bone shards. Yes, the tiny little fried nuggets of chicken were mixed in there with the chilis, and some were more like little fried bits of bone gristle and marrow than actual meat. It was… odd. But also fun? Unlike the hottest hot wings, these chilis kind of kicked your mouth’s ass, but backed off relatively quickly. Like I didn’t walk out at the end of the night and straight for the closest ER. The fish was more to my liking. Floating in some sort of chili-based, almost buttery broth that made the white fish chunks tender and rich. But, again, I would get a stray peppercorn and break out into a sweat. So that one was both fun and delectable.

Sometimes restaurants aren’t all about eating the best food you’ve ever had. Sometimes it’s about the atmosphere, the experience and the company. The service, I must say, was incredibly quick and responsive. The servers were very nice and clearly engaged with the food. Had I been able to hear them over the din (and through their masks), I probably would have praised them even more for directing us away from the “blood curd” (whatever that is). The crowd also seemed to be having a great time. And just about everyone looked to be enjoying the actual experience of eating. I’d say the clientele was about 90% Asian (if not higher), which puts me in the mind that we’re in the right place for this type of grub. And that, on some level, this is authentic to the cuisine. It would be as if I walked into a Jewish deli and saw a bunch of dudes who look like my great uncles hanging out in there. I’d know their pumpernickel and matzo ball soup was the real deal. Anyway, perhaps I go back and try another round here with an open mind and less pickiness about how my chickens are cleaned. Or perhaps I ease my way back in with some local Szechuan. Whatever the case, I see why Szechuan Mountain House is popular and would suggest anyone going to gird your loins for the hot stuff.


23 St Marks Pl. (bet. 2nd & 3rd Ave.)
917/388-3866
szechuanmountainhouse.com


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      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Turnstile: Never Enough

      July 8, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Lifeguard: Ripped and Torn

      June 28, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Cameron Winter: Heavy Metal

      June 17, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Mclusky: the world is still here and so…

      June 16, 2025

      Album Reviews
      Origami Angel: Feeling Not Found

      June 12, 2025

      Album Reviews
      PUP: Who Will Look After the Dogs?

      June 2, 2025

      The Music List
      The Grunge Diaspora

      August 15, 2024

      The Music List
      I Still Own a Lot of CDs

      June 13, 2024

      The Music List
      Top Listens 2023

      January 1, 2024

      The Music List
      In Defense of: OMC’s “How Bizarre”

      July 18, 2021

      The Music List
      Top 25 Influential Rock Albums

      May 1, 2020

      The Music List
      In Defense Of: Ruben Studdard’s “Sorry 2004”

      December 29, 2019

      Concert Reviews
      The Get Up Kids @ Starland Ballroom

      February 27, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Dirty Nil @ White Eagle Hall

      January 26, 2025

      Concert Reviews
      The Beths @ White Eagle Hall

      September 26, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Pearl Jam @ MSG

      September 9, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Cloud Nothings @ (Le) Poisson Rouge

      May 15, 2024

      Concert Reviews
      Band of Horses @ The Wellmont Theater

      February 13, 2024

  • Movies
    • Movie Reviews
      Mountainhead

      July 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Fountain of Youth

      June 24, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Different Man

      June 10, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Problemista

      May 22, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      Flipside

      May 4, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      The Gorge

      March 2, 2025

      Movie Reviews
      A Real Pain

      January 31, 2025

  • Books
    • Book Reviews
      Trust

      June 19, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Razorblade Tears

      May 24, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Plot

      March 14, 2025

      Book Reviews
      Maximum Bob

      February 17, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Sympathizer

      January 6, 2025

      Book Reviews
      The Zone of Interest

      July 12, 2024

      Book Reviews
      Klara and the Sun

      April 13, 2024

  • Podcasts
    • Podcast Reviews
      The Wedding Scammer

      March 1, 2025

      Podcast Reviews
      Search Engine

      November 27, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Hysterical

      August 30, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      60 Songs That Explain the ’90s

      March 31, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Otherworld

      February 29, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Behind the Bastards

      February 13, 2024

      Podcast Reviews
      Time Crisis

      January 26, 2024

  • Booze & Grub
    • Booze & Grub ReviewsBooze & Grub: NYCBooze & Grub: NJThe NYC Booze & Grub GraveyardThe NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      CAVA – 350 Hudson

      June 19, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Westville Hudson

      April 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Five Guys – Midtown West

      January 25, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Jaz Indian Cuisine

      December 23, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Just Salad – Hudson Square

      November 13, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NYC
      Quality Pizza Co. Midtown

      September 10, 2024

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Seoul Bistro

      July 4, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Ralph’s Pizzeria and Italian Restaurant

      June 27, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Rooster’s Nashville Hot Chicken

      June 18, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Oso Felipe

      June 6, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      Mambo Cuban Restaurant & Lounge Harrison

      May 23, 2025

      Booze & Grub Reviews: NJ
      SGD Dubu So Gong Dong Tofu & BBQ…

      May 9, 2025

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      August 9, 2022

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The Press Box Restaurant & Pub

      August 3, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Natureworks – Midtown

      May 6, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      The National Bar & Dining Rooms

      April 10, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Hillstone – Midtown

      March 5, 2021

      The NYC Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Connolly’s Pub & Restaurant – 5th Ave.

      February 12, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard: Gone Before Their…

      July 21, 2024

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Scala del Nonna

      February 15, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Diesel & Duke – Montclair

      January 30, 2023

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza

      September 14, 2021

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Junior’s Cheesesteaks & Shakes

      December 21, 2020

      The NJ Booze & Grub Graveyard
      Vanillamore

      June 13, 2020

  • Randomness
    • Travel Reviews
    • Video Game Reviews
    • Product Reviews
    • Odd Finds
    • Diary