This place is every kiddy-toucher’s dream. Wall to wall junior high girls flock to DT-UT to drink strong coffee, eat the joint’s famous s’mores and ruin $7,000 worth of orthodontia their poor parents had to hock the family heirlooms to pay for. Mixed in with the adolescent faction is the yuppie mommy with the night off from the kids, a couple sensitive dudes looking for the yuppie mommies’ yuppie husbands, and your general groups of four women that can’t seem to find a decent guy to date on a Saturday night (imagine that). The place has the feeling of a giant episode of Oprah, as women in comfortable sweaters sit around on couches with their legs tucked underneath them, huge cups of steaming joe, and that “there are no guys to see me eat it” brownie that could certainly be classified as brick-like. If single guys had any sense, they’d skip the night out with the boys trolling the idiotic bar scene, change into their sensitive corduroys and set their phasers on “s’up.” We suppose this is also a good place to find a date to that eighth grade dance at P.S. 136. [MF]

1744 2nd Ave. (at 91st St.)