The Auction House

Don’t even think of going to this posh Upper East Sider without a shot of espresso or a serious dose of speed. Sleepy doesn’t even begin to describe this dark, no sneakers allowed establishment. The chairs and couches are made especially uncomfortable to deter dozing and the big painting of the fat woman with a severed head on a plate adds to the pervading feeling of doom. Be sure to bring plenty of cash because, as with the other UES bars that don’t allow patrons to wear hats, (thus making it a classy establishment) the owners of the Auction House feel they can justifiably double the price of beer. [MF]