Three Guys Restaurant

I’ll have the clams casino to start and the rack of lamb for my main course. Seriously, who ever orders this crap at a diner? People get eggs and hash browns. They get burgers and the occasional grilled cheese sandwich. So why do they insist on the twelve-page menu littered with ridiculous seafood and gourmet items? Wacky, wacky folks. Three Guys is your typical mixture of gaudy/trashy decor (which always seems to include those weird gold accented mirrors) and loud, sweaty staff. In fact, I don’t recall seeing three guys working there. Maybe guy number two was off that day. Maybe he was off at one of their other restaurants. In any case, I wish he was in the kitchen when they decided to load my hash browns with green peppers. Does anybody like this? I also wish he had been there when they delivered our breakfasts piecemeal, forgetting one person’s toast, another’s sausage, and another’s something else in the pork family. Then, of course, they seemed pissed when asked where these particular items might be. We’re not sure how often you’re going to be up at 96th Street and Madison Ave., but there are plenty of other Greek diners in the neighborhood, and we suggest you go to them instead. [MF]

1381 Madison Ave.